Hi L.W. Very interesting premise. I would echo the suggestion to trim down the info-dump a bit in the first few pages. Also, 'terraform' means to change the surface of the earth, not killing humans. So, unless the Benwarians are going to be fiddling with ecosystems and mountain ranges you might wan... view book

I don't know if this is just a glitch on my computer, but everything after page three is page one repeated again and again... I loved the first page, and I could see my daughter loving it. But, I found the jump from 'real' to 'talking animals' to be a bit jarring. If I had been able to read past ... view book

Hi Siddharth, you have led a very interesting life so far, and I am glad that you are sharing it with us. Your account of the disaster is riveting. However, I think you might find more success if you condense your account down a bit. If you put a few different lives together in a book of short stori... view book

Excellent stuff. You need to condense down the first ten paragraphs in chapter 1, but otherwise it's very good. You have a fantastic imagination, and the ability to make it seem real. I like the 'alternate reality hopping' mix of science fiction and fantasy. view book

I hope you don't mind a good, stiff critique, Gerry. Your story has great potential, but you need to bump it up a notch on the subtext. You spend a lot of time telling us what your characters are thinking, instead of showing it. Plus, a bit of condensing of description and dialogue will make it tigh... view book