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Robert Clear

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first registered 20.08.10

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about me

I'm a twenty-eight year old from London, and The Cambridge List is my first novel. It's a black comedy dealing with all those humdrum features of everyday life that you never knew were interesting: murder, disembodied voices that might (or might not) be the result of those dodgy pills, Greek gods and scheming academics. It's all based around that mysterious force that keeps the world turning: revenge (though gravity also features in a discreet sort of way).

It's complete at c.100,000 words, and a sequel is in progress, so watch this space...

The Cambridge List is now available to buy on all ebook reader formats and in paperback (via lulu.com). For more about the book, me and the various odds and ends that make it from my brain to the keyboard, go to:

www.the-cambridge-list.blogspot.com

www.facebook.com/pages/The-Cambridge-List/144869888911679

All the best
Robert

favourite books

Homer's Odyssey
The London Pigeon Wars (Patrick Neate)
New Grub Street (George Gissing)

my websites

    

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Self-publish with CreateSpace

my books

The Cambridge List

Robert Clear

A devilishly dark comedy.


An action-packed dark comedy about gods, sex and death amidst the ivory towers of Cambridge University.

James Connor thinks that murdering his former professors in cold blood is rather a bad idea. Unfortunately his head has been commandeered by a bloodthirsty family of Greek gods, so he doesn’t have a say in the matter. With Hera and Aphrodite at each other’s throats and Dionysos failing to keep order, James’s brain has become a cosmic conflict zone, and he’s worried they’ll leave it in ruins. There’s only one way out: he has to go from socially inept young man to slick sociopath fast. If only he wasn’t so squeamish about mass slaughter.

Forget the serene deities you’ve seen carved in ancient marble. Forget the quaint charm of England’s most English university. Here in the cut-and-thrust world of Cambridge the rule of the jungle prevails, and nothing is sacred. Follow the world’s least menacing serial killer on his awkwardly murderous journey, where ancient rituals, scheming academics and divine politics collide. And where murder has consequences unforeseen even by the gods themselves...

With its irreverent tone and dark humour, The Cambridge List reads like Roald Dahl for adults.

 

Chavs, Chuggers and Choo Choo ....

Robert Clear

Funnily enough, this isn't a philosophical critique of human existence in the manner of Plato or Descartes. It's a moan about life.


If you find your blood pressure sky-rocketing at such Earth-shattering disasters as the toilet roll running out, waiters being over-familiar or trains being more than fifteen seconds late, then don't bother reading it. It'll tip you over the edge.

If you enjoy finding a bit of humour in the mundane then go ahead and download. You'll probably laugh.

Some reliable testimonies:

"Brilliant!" says a mysterious stranger.

"Comedic genius!" says a man on the street who refuses to be identified.

"Utter rubbish," shrugs a grumpy old woman.

Yet more reliable testimonies:

"Wow! I thought Darwin's 'Origin of Species' explained life pretty clearly, but this is just...wow!' – Random scientist.

"This is totally awesome! Cowabunga!" – Queen Victoria (via Ouija board)

"Please leave your message after the tone..." – Answer-phone of the Secretary-General of the UN


'Chavs, Chuggers and Choo Choo Trains: Blogservations on life and its many f***ing irritants' can be downloaded for free at:

http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/84697

 

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latest

Andrew Hughes wrote 1 day ago

Hi Robert, “Informers and blackmailers, phrenologists and dissecti....

Nathan O'Hagan wrote 5 days ago

Hi Apologies for the spam, but I would be very grateful if you could....

The Knowledge wrote 6 days ago

Hi Robert, My book is simply called ‘Madeline’ (Link below) She has....

AndrewStevens wrote 20 days ago

Love the new cover, Robert (altho, for some reason, it shows up as an....

Tony Colina wrote 25 days ago

Drip drip drip drip drip............the journey begins...........into....

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my comments

latest

I wrote 636 days ago

Very well written. I particularly liked the argument with the elderly people in chapter 18. Happy to back. Henry view book

I wrote 637 days ago

Good narrative and interesting story line. I felt that the opening scene was a touch over-descriptive, but otherwise very good. Happy to back it. view book

I wrote 639 days ago

Great story! The Trojan War is a nice, meaty subject– perfect for a trilogy. This is really well paced, and the dialogues flows very smoothly. I love classics-inspired books, and this one is a pleasure to read. Happy to back it. view book

I wrote 641 days ago

Hi Sylvia. Many thanks for taking the time to make the suggestion- I totally agree with you about the long paragraph. I've chopped it in two, and hopefully it's the better for it. view book

I wrote 643 days ago

Hi Lynne, many thanks for your comments. I'm happy to back The Green Bronze Mirror. I think the style would be very accessible to a young adult audience, and the story is engaging. Your description of the chase across the roofs of the tenement buildings is very evocative- I really like your focus on... view book

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