I loved the internal struggle you depict with italics. A fine concept. A perfect pace for the fast, intense parts in chase and conflict. For some reason, in the first 4 pages I read, the dialogue between characters sounded the similar to one another. I couldn't help but to laugh when John puked all ... view book

Not a bad book. I read the first couple chapters. A few things: There were many awkward sentences for me, for example, "but today it got too much" and "I had toothach". Take a look over each line of this. In order to publish, a book must be in its most polished form. Little things like this will ... view book

True to life dialogue. I loved the blurred sense of fantasy and reality, as your opeing line alludes to. Believable, yet, astonishing. I wonder if you could do some dialogue pruning on the first four pages that I read. Cut anything superfluous, even if it's one word. Gladly shelved. If you have t... view book

Nice job here. Not my cup of tea, but I enjoyed it, regardless. "It does feel a bit like cheating.." --great line! Great dialogue. I do wish I could see a little less diolgue in some areas, such as page 7. Some pruning might be in order. Backed! Hope you have a great New Year. Best, TH view book

"Skin color of fresh ricotta"! One of the many fantastic lines of this book. I'm in love with your language and imagery. I did struggle, on page 2, with some of the translations and jargon in the conversations. Great depiction of resentment and conflict with assimilation and culture. So glad to have... view book