Lovely stuff. I like the crime-show-style prologue a lot, and the first chapter is full of hooks. Especially the mini-golf. Spies and mini-golf! What's not to love? :) view book

Great pitch and super-cute opening! An animal shelter is a glorious setting for chick-lit. The only suggestion I'd have in the first chapter would be to snazz up the breakup a little - the guy sounds great, but like he's just left a good relationship just because some hot chick flirted with him...I ... view book

Hi Andene! Just passing through, but I wanted to suggest some work on your pitches - it would be really good to get some of the specifics of your plot into the short pitch and the first paragraph of your long pitch. Both of these elements are really key for getting readers in, and you've gone for r... view book

Hi! You've got a knack for dialogue - it sounds consistently smooth and real...and just hard-boiled enough :) The narration is also clear and concise...a pleasure to read! My only complaint is that with such a knack for writing as you obviously have, the story so far isn't feeling strongly original... view book

What a fascinating premise! And you start right up in a good part, so I was hooked and read the whole thing. I'd strongly recommend a proofread - there're all kinds of little distracting things that I'm sure you'd catch with a careful read, and with a strong premise and good writing like this you'll... view book