This is gripping from the start. I felt compelled by what was happening and desperately wanted Rania to survive. I see the story is at least partially based on real events and that adds gravitas to the subject matter. It is terrifying to think a brother could do that to his own sister but sadly it i... view book

I think the fourth and thirteenth century stories work very well. I like the concept of a story unfolding over many centuries and your writing in the third chapter is particularly good. The problem I have is with the modern day part. It doesn't grab my attention enough. I found it hard to get intere... view book

I agree with Patrick: I think the prologue has far too much information in it. A better start would be to go straight into introducing us to Angelo and Paulo because your writing switches up a gear in "Two" and interest is then stirred in your story. Is the prologue necessary? It might be possible ... view book

I love the idea behind this and the concept works really well. I particularly liked the dragonfly chapter. Your writing made me both think and smile and that is surely the guage of anything being really good. I hope the rest of it is going to be as good as the material you've so far posted because i... view book

This reads like a folk tale and conveys a real sense of community. If you are pitching this to a young adult and childrens market then I think you need to alter the first couple of chapters. For that readership, it needs more of a hook. Perhaps you could be more melodramatic about the swans that hav... view book