Ch 3: "I comb my damp hair away from my face so that it cannot obstruct my vision and then scan the room again, but I avoid looking in the mirror as I pass it." Try: I comb my damp hair away from my face so it can't obstruct my vision, then scan the room again -- but I avoid looking into the mirr... view book

I usually hate prologues. I didn't hate yours -- it seemed to me that it did exactly what prologues should do. You've got a great idea for a story here, and fabulous execution with impeccable dialogue. Straight to the shelf with no complaints. view book

See, my high-school years weren't like this. The more media I read and see on teenage years, the more I'm convinced I went to the most boring high-school ever. My own lamentations of wasted youth aside, I found this to be a powerful, stark, and well-written story. No complaints from me, sir -- ba... view book

You know, I kinda dig this. Your sense of humor shines through in the book, and though I'm not usually a fan of fantasy, I found this quite readable. The only advice I have for you (and it's been given to me a bunch, as well) is to watch your use of adverbs and make sure it doesn't become *over*use.... view book

I love Texas stories -- a broken-down character with a broken-down car fits perfectly here. This actually managed to make me laugh a couple of times -- your descriptions and your character development make the world you create seem very real, which makes the funny parts even funnier. Outstanding ... view book