A drunken, chaotic comedy that shows us sometimes the truth is measured by how much is left in the bottle.
At 30 years old, Lydia’s life is out of control in a city that feeds off chaos. As each chapter begins with a beauty pageant question, Lydia, a former child pageant star is in a quarter-life crisis and Doberman, a fifty-eight-year-old recovering alcoholic, is living with his mother in the Bronx and preparing to graduate from Bartending School.
When Lydia's pathological fear of makeup leads to her mistaken arrest at Macy's department store, her stint in Community Service finds her picking up trash outside Doberman’s Bronx row house.
This chance meeting between two different worlds takes Lydia on a new path with hilarious consequences. Her best friend is a liar, her boyfriend’s neurotic, and she just hired a bartender who won’t let anyone drink. While Lydia tries to get a new restaurant venture off the ground, a sudden death reveals $60,000 is missing-money that was supposed to pay for the restaurant.
Drawing on the only skills she has, Lydia puts together the beauty pageant of a lifetime, New York City Style, to raise the missing money.
Book is complete at 69,000 words. First 15 chapters available here.