I fully enjoyed chapter one. Great concept so far (I read your pitch to get a better idea of where this was going). I love how your mixing in fact with fiction (like the truth about area 51). I also liked that line about if I wanted to dance my wife would be here. Also, I completely agree with y... view book

Great Line: "Erik knew he was going to die even before it happened..." Imagery is very vivid with this and the writing flows naturally. My only peve was that you used the phrase 'spilled blood' a few too many times in the prolog. Backed, Marise view book

Chapter Ten read swap: I quite enjoyed your story and I found the plot is both unique and engaging. At least it’s not anything I’ve seen before. I do think the writing itself could use a little polishing. Specifically, I think you need to break up your dialog with more descriptions of actions, fa... view book

Fascinating first chapter. I especially liked how you managed to pull together breaking and disciples to lead to breaking bread at the last super and how that later fed into the concept of a crucifixion. You definitely made me feel like I had some insight into the mental instability behind paranoia.... view book

Fantastic read. Overall, I thought this was a wonderful piece. Positives: Fantastic characterization. Our protagonist, Susan, the dad and especially Bernard are very real interesting characters. I also really liked the scenes you used to help us understand this family (the fruit picking trips, ... view book