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first registered 25.01.10

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about me

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Check out my blog at: www.askunclejohn.com
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I live in St. Petersburg, Florida. I love it here. There are dolphins in the bay and parrots in the palm trees. There are miles of beautiful gulf beaches teaming with luscious young snow bunnies, and cool, dark bars where you can guzzle margarita's while hiding from the mid-day sun.
I write, read, eat, drink and sleep... and kick George (ill-tempered mutt) for crapping in the house. The four wives have all run off somewhere, so I don't have to take out the garbage till I'm good and ready, and the kids find me boring and stay away - till they need something.
I'm quite happy.

STREET SMART DATING MADE THE DESK
Big, big thanks to everyone who helped get Street Smart Dating on The Desk this month (July 2011). So immensely grateful.
Incidentally, the name will be changed to 'Sneaky Tricks. A dubious guide to dating and meeting people." Buy it on Amazon at: http://tinyurl.com/7dt6kjc



BRAMWELL VALLEY MADE THE DESK
Bramwell Valley (Goodbye Lucifer), which so many of you helped to get to The Desk in January, 2010, has found a publisher. Many thanks to the community for all your help with it. Buy it at:
www.goodbyelucifer.com

email: johnniemccoy (at) hotmail (dot) com

favourite books

The Naked Ape - Desmond Morris
The Human Zoo - Desmond Morris
The Wellspring of Life - Isaac Asimov
The Genetic Code - Isaac Asimov
Is Anyone There - Isaac Asimov
The Source - James Michener
Goodbye Lucifer - Me (haha)

my websites

http://www.askunclejohn .com     http://www.johnniemccoy.com

HarperCollins is not responsible for the content of external internet sites.

Self-publish with CreateSpace

my books

STREET SMART DATING

John Harold McCoy

Learn the tricky secrets on how you can be playing doctor in a dingy motel, pronto.


Ok... you're 5 feet tall, weigh three hundred and ninety pounds, have a flat head, a hunchback, and your dog won't play with you unless you've got food. Is there any hope? Damned straight there is. Just take Uncle John's advice and you'll be breathing heavy in the back seat of a late model crew-cab pickup truck in no time.

Street Smart Dating started out as a website—a spoof on the usual oh-so-correct 'dating/meeting people' advice thing. The URL was askunclejohn.com, and though I did include some common sense advice to bulk it out a bit, the only intent was humor.
Oddly enough, I began getting emails, quite a few of them, asking for advice on dating and meeting people. It occurred to me that a not-so-gentle, slap in the face, wake up and smell the roses—and so on—type of book, with an emphasis on humor, may just do well.

 

How To Meet Women In Bars

John Harold McCoy

A revolutionary (yes, revolutionary) new technique for meeting women in bars. Guaranteed or your money back (*see limitations).


Grab a shower and a shave, slick back your hair, throw on your cool duds, jump in the car and head for the nearest watering hole. You'll never go home alone, again.


*Limitations
(no way in hell you're getting your money back)

P.S,
It's a bar joke book. Looks pretty dumb without the illustrations. The last chapters are for word count only—not in the printed book. Don't use your shelf space for it. It ain't goin' nowhere. It's just for fun :)

 

The By Everybody Book

by Everybody

A hodgepodge of stuff donated by Authonomites just for fun.


By the following authors... UNEDITED

Lovsikpuppy, Antonia Marlowe, S.C. Thompson, Eloravelle, Vicky Clasby,
Dadoo, John Booth, Versi-Artiste, Ariom Dahl, Helianthus, Splinker,
MIRO1K, Groaner, RAS, Stopper, Hyperion, John Harold McCoy,
Brittany Engstrand, Sylvania, Textual Ribbons, Patrick Whittaker.
Emma Parker, Layla Harding, Mark R. Faulkner, Ian Walkley,
Daisy Fitz, L_MC, Cariad, RobRow, Jake Barton, apostlepaul,
Lorraine Holloway-White, Scratch, TRM, Tom B, Katina Grist Jones,
Sue Edwards(LittleDevil), Whoster

And in the (conglomerate) “The Story By Everybody”:

Rachel V, Cariad, DDickson, WiSpY, Patrick Whittaker, Pat Black,
spd6of14, PCreturned, Jenny-B, Zan, Tom B, Aidan2002, Burbage,
tree of life, Patientman, Inkfinger, Brittany Engstrand

(let me know if I left you out)

Message me if you want to add your story. There's plenty of room left. It doesn't have to be great. It's just for fun. Comments are nice, but please don't back the book. Save your shelf space for those who are seriously striving for the Editor's Review.

 

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latest

Zijn wrote 17 hours ago

“It was two kids against the world. And the world didn’t stand a chan....

Textual Ribbons wrote 3 days ago

Yeah I caught up with that eventually once I saw what you did. You ow....

Textual Ribbons wrote 3 days ago

What? Why are you smiling at me? Have I done something nefarious agai....

Eric Laing wrote 5 days ago

Seriously...Thank you.

R.Moore wrote 5 days ago

Groaners a bit much. My parents are groaners too. No idea why though.....

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my comments

latest

I wrote 20 days ago

Hey Splinks, just read a little of it. Just a few things that came to mind. Did you mean "than actually read introductions." Did you mean "they're ambushed by their forties" Did you mean "(Excuss me, I didn't mean to interrupt you!)" "...whether a nice wine is involved." - I wasn't fond of that ... view book

I wrote 83 days ago

The title has to be big enough to be read from a distance in dimly lit rooms, Tony. That's the whole idea. view book

I wrote 96 days ago

Hi Stella. Here as promised. I read the first two chapters. Not far enough to get into the meat of the story, but enough to see that your writing is certainly competent. I was a bit torn between the feeling that - 'did I really care about such detailed personal information that seemed to ramble on i... view book

I wrote 120 days ago

I'm very impressed with your writing. Actually, the comment right before this one is pretty much what I would say. I can't make up my mind about that first paragraph, though. Don't know if I'm fond of it, or not. There's something about it that hits me wrong... don't know what to say about it. Just ... view book

I wrote 131 days ago

Hi, Valarie. Just some personal opinions, here. First, let me say how impressed I am with your writing. Characters are well defined by the dialog, and I have no problem picturing what’s going on, where they are and why, who's speaking, their personalities, etc. Nice. I wasn't fond of the first ... view book

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