Raechel, I read the first couple of chapters. My first observation is that the character in your prologue comes across as a talkative indian, though he's never described as an indian, simply a weathered old man with 'hoary' braids. When depicting a spiritual character, I'm assuming something of a... view book

Hi Gloria, I read the first four chapters of your novel trying to fathom where you're going with this. The writing is quite nice. The story seems to wander from a children's story to an adult morality play. Like the Harry Potter books, it seems to defy categorization. But as an adult I'm having d... view book

D. I read your first chapter a couple of weeks ago. Then I came back and read it again. What I find interesting is that you're attempting to put physical humor, the Monty Python, Faulty Towers, kind of slapstick into book form. I really think that this writing, which I find to be quite good, woul... view book

This is very well written. I found it a bit slow out of the gate. Most readers have a short attention span. I would suggest bagging the first half of the first chapter to move the story along. The good news is that you can write. Edit it down and it should fly. Backed with pleasure. view book

The book is well written, but I would re-think giving over the first chapter entirely to background. It had very little dialogue and, despite being well written, didn't really catch fire. If this is a biography with the selling point being the experience of prison in South America - why not start th... view book