Fair Critters Chapter 1: I’d cut ‘The day’ from the second paragraph. It’s implied by the first sentence. Might consider taking out some of the scene setting about the town and dripping this in, little by little, later on? I like the ‘voice.’ It seems fitting for a seventeen year old girl. ... view book

Fair Critters Review: I like your concept. From what I understand, IT is a synthetic omnipresent and omnipotent god. This idea is a platform to a subtext on the nature of existence and divinity. Naturally, such technology is dangerous, unpredictable and ultimately uncontrollable. Fertile ground f... view book

Fair Critter Review I would like to see a contraction of the long pitch. You present some very interesting ideas. Don’t tell us too much; simplify for a more effective pitch. The quality of the writing is much better than I anticipated from the pitch. You are more than a competent writer, yo... view book

This is a lovely coming of age story that takes the reader from hilarity to isolation and pain. Poignant and atmospheric. Backed. Mimi (Flickers of Mary) view book

Smoothly written. An interesting take on the Vampire theme. Your MC seems positiively personable and just the sort of character to drive the plot. Very quickly into action. Nicely done. Backed Mimi (Flickers of Mary) view book