A good story prospect in my opinion and some good decaying images. However, you do nee to add quotations to the dialogues, it is very hard to decipher narrative from dialogue otherwise. Backed for an interesting concept and some great imagery. view book

I am not sure I would call it a "tour" bus. The image I had in my mind was a little bit more riggidy (sp?) but anyways besides that you have some vivid imagery and emotions, I felt I was going through the prison, not reed. I found myself get into the reader's head right away which is a good sign tha... view book

Thank you for contacting me for a read. Your characters are very likable and friendly and as a reader, you get to care about them. The interactions are very believable. Good job and great flow. view book

What a striking beginning and a great flow. Backed. view book

Loved the first sentence, lol. The technology, the gore and the military aspect of your first chaper were great, a recipe for some hadrcore sci-fi. You write conscicely and I could imagine every scene you detailed. It proves that you do not need a hundred words to describe something for the reader... view book