so i emailed more thorough line edits for chapters 32-36 and wanted to give some overall impressions. your narrative is strong. your physical descriptions are specific and original and ground the reader. the section with eric was great- a believable voice and you build suspense well here. y... view book

i just read your first chapter. the dialogue of the chatty stranger flows and keeps my attention. just when i start getting antsy for a visual cue, you give me the train station. best line ever: unwanted social interaction is its own specific brand of violence. i relate to this as someone who fe... view book

sometimes i do things backward around here- i back a book for a while before i get around to commenting. i liked your first line and the opening scene was definitely a good way to start, showing that your mc is complicated and flawed and interesting. your description of the nose bleed was viscera... view book

i was drawn in by your pitch but found your prologue a bit disorienting. you start with a big chunk of dialogue without giving any context. as the writer, you can visualize what's going on, but i can't. i skipped ahead to your first chapter and found two scenes opening much the same. it seemed (to ... view book

i enjoyed this. your pitch is really good, though i'd cut the rhetorical questions at the beginning and start with: 'emma wants'. this is a great concept. i like your opening paragraph- full of visual details and active scene. i think you picked a really good place to start the story, making the ... view book