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Patty

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first registered 19.09.08

last online 366 days ago

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about me

Writer of Science Fiction

Member of SFWA

Slush reader and editor at Andromeda Spaceways Inflight Magazine

New! The Far Horizon. See Smashwords link below.

Writing:

This peaceful state of war - 1st place Writers Of The Future Contest second quarter 2010

The Donner Equilibrium - Finalist Writers Of The Future Contest first quarter 2010

Recently published stories:
His Name in Lights - Universe Annex Grantville Gazette #33 January 2011
Black Dragon - The Edge of Propinquity 54 October 2010
Metal Dragon - Andromeda Spaceways Inflight Magazine #46 September 2010
Prototype MBrane SF July 2010
Little Boy Lost - Midnight Echo #4 June 2010
The rebelliousness of trassi udang - Belong anthology April 2010

Forthcoming:
Party, with Echoes - Redstone SF
Charlotte's Army (novella) - Distant Worlds anthology
Where the plains merge with the sky - Scape magazine
Poor man's Travel - Anywhere But Earth anthology
Quarantine - Dead Red Heart anothology

Published three books in natural history (non-fiction)

favourite books

C.J. Cherryh's Foreigner series
Anything else by C.J.Cherryh

Anything by Stephen Baxter

my websites

http://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/pattyjansen     http://pattyjansen.wordpress.com/

HarperCollins is not responsible for the content of external internet sites.

Self-publish with CreateSpace

my books

The Far Horizon

Patty Jansen

Of all the things ten-year-old Cory Wilson expects to do when he moves to Midway Space Station, saving aliens from humans isn't one.


Of all the things ten-year-old Cory Wilson expects to do when he moves to Midway Space Station, saving aliens from humans isn't one. An important conference is about to start at the station, not usually the sort of thing kids care about, not even when the conference is between humans and aliens, and half your family is alien. However, when bullies tease Cory, he ends up in a prohibited area where he overhears some men planning to plant a bomb at the conference. Because the terrorists hide their messages in computer games, no one believes Cory, not even his father, the station director. Kids at school think he’s crazy, some even think aliens should be bombed. The conference starts, the aliens have brought a very important person, and Cory's teacher, one of the terrorists, locks Cory in the classroom. Can he get out in time? If he does, will anyone listen?

 

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latest

kristylo wrote 8 days ago

HELLO, How are you today.my name is kristy,i saw your profile today ....

fatbee wrote 23 days ago

Hello thats me miss Fatima,can i have a hand of friendship from ....

jinnferk wrote 45 days ago

Hello, my name is JENNIF from West Africa, i saw your profile and i ....

Razaka wrote 53 days ago

Hello , My compliment to you and your entire household. I am Ibrah....

LILIANLOVEE wrote 58 days ago

Love greetings to you, my name is Miss lilian. I saw your nice prof....

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my comments

latest

I wrote 419 days ago

Thanks so much! I really appreciate it. view book

I wrote 482 days ago

Good, tense situation, but I think this needs to be edited for point-of-view. Currently, we're not following any one character in particular, we're in no one's head, and that gives the text a distant quality view book

I wrote 482 days ago

My opinion? Yes, too much 'action'. I think there is too much description of the character's physical actions as opposed to plot movement. Stage directions. He climbs over this, he hurts that, but the reader doesn't know why any of this is happening, so the reader gets impatient. What are the main ... view book

I wrote 482 days ago

you asked. IMO, writing needs a lot of polish to get rid of superfluous words. For exmaple, you use the word 'was/were' eleven times in the first paragraph. It's also overwritten: there are a lot more words than necessary to tell what happens. Look out for weasel words, such as: - almost, a litt... view book

I wrote 482 days ago

written confidently with a fresh theme. The style is efficient and polished. My only suggestion would be to give the reader more grounding on where in the world we are from the very first sentence. In absence of that grounding, with most readers' ignorance of what constitutes an African name, this... view book

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