It must be a terrific discipline writing an adventure for children. Having read the pitch and chapter three, top marks for the gentle simplicity of the language and the paciness of what appears to be a well-crafted story. When Mrs James begins to read the class a special story about dragons I wa... view book

The telepathic stuff is brilliant. (Got there at last.) Yuko's naive voice grated for a while then, quite oddly, I began to like it. I still think the prose style before the start of Yuko's diary should be more refined. Let it accentuate the contrast between the adult's perspective and that of the g... view book

Enjoyed the 1st sentence. Stumbled at the 2nd. ‘Always / almost never / forever ; myself / myself…’ Clunk! and double clunk! Hence I approached the 3rd sentence with antennae tingling. Don’t quite like the ‘have’. Sounds like a verb is looming… and fails to materialise. 'Any complaint that my... view book

I have one word for this stuff: funny, funny, funny. view book

'What's a metaphor?' ... It's for whatever you make of it, kid. This tale -- Andrea Levin's Last Days of the Toi -- is, I guess, a lament for lost keepsakes and forgotten sensibilities. Love melts, damn it. Becomes displaced. 'So waddya do?' ... Rebuild. Reconsider. Read a good book now and the... view book