I'm not usually into this genre (sci-fi/fantasy), but I like what you've done here. You made it a bit more accessible to others not familiar with this type of story. Your dialogue is believable (it doesn't sound false). I love your attention to detail and the thoughts provided by the 1st person narr... view book

You don't have anything to edit from what I can tell. Dialogue is snappy and the plot seems easy to follow. Good luck! view book

What I notice: *you have quite a few -ly adverbs in the beginning. These taper off as I read more. Maybe take a few more out as you show yourself capable of not using them in the following paragraphs. *Blankety blank? I am guessing you wish to fill in a word there later? *When the man says Yeow!... view book

That poor mama! To have a husband who changes from being attentive during courting to a man who tells her to shut up during labor and make him breakfast before going to the hospital--awful man! Characterization is excellent and you have a keen eye for dialogue. Every chapter is somewhat of a cliffha... view book

I rarely say this: what excellent pacing. We are moved through the story with ease and you don't have any of the muddle novels sometimes have when there is information to give or ideas peter out and leave the reader hanging. Your ability to edit is fantastic and I can obviously learn quite a bit fro... view book