Hello, Some thoughts, as promised, based on the ten chapters currently posted - I'm very sorry I haven't had time to be more thorough. First, I don't know exactly what you are aiming for in a 'comical Oktoberfest thriller' (as you described it in your message to me) but, if you haven't done so... view book

Hi Pia, Thanks for your request – I’m sorry it’s taken months to get to it! Here are my comments, based on all the chapters you have online currently. Please keep in mind that these comments are purely based on my reaction to your story and not intended to offend or discourage. I’ve given some sp... view book

Hi again, Here's my comment, finally! I wanted to think this over before writing it down. It must have been the first chapter that made me want to back this. As I mentioned in my message, you were right about it being an uncomfortable read. Sometimes Charlie's voice was jarring. He cons... view book

Hi, Here is feedback, as requested :) I’ve commented on the first few chapters (numbered according to Authonomy) in more detail – it’s not an exhaustive list but I’ve tried to highlight some key points - and have given more general comments for the rest. My overall impression is that this book fi... view book

Hello, Thanks for your request. The initial comments are on specific chapters; more general feedback is at the end. Hope this is of some use – I realise that this book has been published, and given that it was written when you were so young, my feedback might sound a bit harsh. I’ve tried to read... view book