I really enjoyed the emphasis on dialogue, it made it flow and gave it immediacy. I liked the bit about, 'Fighting is a really great way to get to know someone..." The characters have charm and natural voices. This could almost be a screenplay script. I'd buy this if it were on the bookshelf. I... view book

Good, competent writing and a nice, scary, tense opening. What child wouldn't want to find out what had happened to Sylvia's mom? I felt that this could be read by children younger than YA. It's not overly sophisticated and very accessible. And children *love* to be scared. The writing is... view book

Ooh - nice opening para, hooked straight away. You show a strong story-telling ability and mature writing - it reminded me of Dick Francis. Typo Ch 4: 'Kathy'(s) eyes showed her surprise...' Might be worth reviewing your punctuation, I'm no expert but I think some of your phrasing with commas... view book

I like the tight writing of this. I'm an impatient person so struggle to write a lot of narrative myself and am happy to read punchy writing like this. However, I did wonder if the pace could vary a little more. I found I was almost breathless at one point! It opens with a bang and so I have t... view book

This is a wonderful read, one of the most enjoyable I've read on here. You have a good, strong voice - I like the intimacy of it. I've only read seven chaps so far, but want to come back and read the rest. A couple of tweaks: Ch 1 'That's right, my friends, this is me' I think you could b... view book