Congrats on making it to the top 5. Thought I'd give your ms a look and am VERY impressed. Your writing is extremely tight and your pacing is outstandingly maintained. I only read the first chapter, and have a few comments to take or leave. There are a few interactions that could be shaved down. ... view book

Hi Philip, Here at your request. My thoughts, to take or leave (and please don't get hurt feelings. Honesty and sugarcoating so rarely merge): Cut out chapter one. Sounds harsh, I know, but it's not particularly interesting action. He's running, he's running-- oh, now he's running faster. ... view book

I read your story. My heart aches for you and what you endured. You are very brave and very strong. Breathe in the Dark will live in my thoughts and I will always hope you are well and happy, having overcome such agonizing obstacles. Thank you for sharing your story. Tracy view book

Hi J, Here at your request. I read Part I and while the story has merrit, it needs intensive editing. From your premise and your writing, I think you certainly have the ability to produce a compelling story and eventually be published, but like many of us, the editing is the makeup that turns goo... view book

Hi, Here at your request. I read Emma the Exterminators comment and am convinced she's well versed in the industry. She has the same impatience, the same inability to sugarcoat I have experienced with my agent... Painful as her critique might have been, if you want to be published by a publishing h... view book