To have ambivalent feelings in raising a developmentally disabled child is normal. It's impossible without them. The only question is how to handle them.
One night watch at the sick child's bed, interwoven with the second layer of the story--the author's memories of the struggles, suffering, and even the frustration with herself in her ability to love her foster child who turns out to be mentally disabled. Bold, truthful, and "naked" authenticity of the narrative may shock the reader. The story has no expected happy-end, nevertheless, it does have an unexpected one.
"I realized that this was not a battle for her change to better, but for ours."