I read the prologue and to be frank, I found it hard to follow and I am an adult. It is well written and has plenty of interesting descriptions however I was concerned about the level so I asked one of my teenage sons to read some. He was confused and quickly found an excuse to stop. Chapter one is ... view book

The book starts with a great first paragraph mentioning time travel and then drops in a description of all the people at the hotel. I wondered why I needed to know about them all so soon since I was really interested in hearing more about the time travel. I guess all these people stayed/worked there... view book

I have read that editors don’t like it when you start with narrative. Since this is just a thought expressed out loud you could rephrase it if you wanted. The first paragraph of a book is one of the most important and you have two starting with ‘It was’. I know you are doing this to emphasize it how... view book

I was a little confused in the middle of the prologue since I got the impression that Eve could teleport but later on there is no mention. The prologue is almost a story in itself. You say she was no human and looked different but I was not able to visualize her since there is no real description of... view book

When describing you father, try to change the structure. Starting every sentence with ‘He had…’ sounds a bit like ‘a list of ingredients for a cake’. You use ‘turned five’ twice close together- suggest changing first one to ‘Just after my fifth birthday, I overheard…’ Watching an eagle take a fish... view book