Some thoughts, I hope they are helpful. You don't need to introduce your characters using their full names in the opening paragraph. Allow the reader to meet them and discover them during the subsequent conversation. If they had decided it was the perfect day for a walk along the beach, why do... view book

A great concept and the pace is good - this is an exciting read. One small thing to say upfront, and this can apply to the majority of authonomy manuscripts I read, the first paragraph feels over-written and a bit clunky. It is as if you are trying too hard. Actually, that first sentence sets the... view book

This is definitely an interesting story - a brave and bold decision for any parents to take - and it is the tale itself that provides the entertainment. The writing style is fine but I think you try a little too hard, rendering the prose a little bit formal. Relax a bit, lighten up, make it more con... view book

This is an interesting story and one that is definitely worth telling but, I'll be honest, I had a problem with the narrative voice. It is somewhat over-written, by which I mean it appears to be trying too hard to be literary, using language and phrases, and even extra words, which don't feel natura... view book

I think the idea of a collection of short tales or modern parables to highlight or explain elements of Christian teaching is a good one - it worked quite well for Jesus if I remember correctly. However, if I am honest, I found this to me more about the author recounting a series of good deeds which,... view book