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Helen Ducal

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first registered 05.09.08

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about me

January 2012: ALL EXPENSES PAID (Fact meets Fiction) is now only partly uploaded here.
To read the rest go to amazon.com or co.uk or .fr or .de
Available on kindle and paperback.

Brand new cover has arrived. Go see!
Thanks to simon-birch.co.uk
Well...seems authonomy doesn't want my new cover. Why won't it upload...? Ok, see it on Amazon!

Still writing, eating and sleeping. Sorry,not much time left for reading. It's all me, me, me ;-)

THANK YOU if you have backed either of my books. It is appreciated. You all helped me with my decision to self publish.

So, will you like either of my books? Here's a clue.

A friend once said. 'You write like Enid Blyton on speed.'
And my English teacher said. 'There is a fine line between genius and madness.'

You have been warned.

I was determined to be a writer ever since being asked to leave the Brownies for chalking on the benches! Had my first business at 19, married at 20, divorced at 30, ditched the 9-5 at 40 to work as a live-in carer, working in Europe, travelling to Australia and writing in between. Got a first in Media writing at 50, moved to France,where I recharge my batteries and write and eat and sleep. But still have to return to Blighty every 2 weeks to earn my rent, until I can write full time!

ALL EXPENSES PAID.
What some of you think of it so far...

Andyroo wrote:
Engaging, fun, unpredictable, fresh, original, silly, and just plain old enjoyable. Cracking idea and neatly executed. All I need is a deck chair and some sun and I'm sorted!

Freddie Omm:
brilliant pitch – sounds like it’ll be a fun read, and this soon proves right .


And if ALL EXPENSES PAID tickles your fancy, take a look at
MATURE, EDUCATED, HEALING HANDS, CAN TRAVEL.
Just freshly uploaded from my imagination!

In the meantime, I'm still passionate about my two screenplays.I've taken them down at the moment but please let me know if you want to read either of them.
Email me: helenducal@hotmail.com

I wrote KHAMAILEON for my dissertation in 2003. I started with the idea of something seemingly impossible and then worked back to discover how it could be done.
I thought about miscarriages of justice, false imprisonment, scientific evidence, whistleblowers, the power of money v justice and came up with : A maternity suit and even DNA could not help her. I was inspired by the case of Stanley Adams:Any woman duped into producing a son and heir: And a woman falsely accused of murdering her two sons. Since completing Khamaileon an American woman was told she was not the mother of her children. DNA said she wasn't. Fortunately the phenomenon of Chimera has become more widely known. To be one’s own twin. She had two sets of DNA!
SHELF LIFE first emerged as a comic strip, hence the graphic descriptions. I was presented with the idea couresty of my new mobile phone.It beeped: missed call. Date and time? 31.12.2048. 23.59.59. I kid you not. A missed call in the future, sender unknown! Of course, my expiry date! Then I thought, if I have one, so must everbody else. So just like DNA I decided it must already be within us, if only we knew where to look...
KHAMAILEON. SHELF LIFE. predictive fiction seems to be my genre.
Read on, enjoy and ponder, what’s next?


favourite books

Cider with Rosie by Laurie Lee
Therese Raquin by Emile Zola
The way I found her by Rose Tremain
Until I find you by John Irving.

Everything by Janet Evanovich, Kathy Reichs,Colette, Maggie Alderson,Paul Auster,Amelie Nothomb,Francoise Sagan,Maupassant,Alan Bennett,John Wyndham, Ray Bradbury,Dan Brown.

Almost everything by Stephen King, Val McDermid, Michael Crichton, John Grisham.

my websites

http://helenducal.wordpress.com     http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0053D5KNQ

HarperCollins is not responsible for the content of external internet sites.

Self-publish with CreateSpace

my books

All Expenses Paid ( Fact meets....

Helen Ducal

40 year old Laura decides to ditch the 9-5 and go ‘granny sitting’ in the South of France for six months with hilarious results.


THE JOB: Six months granny sitting in the South of France
Separate en-suite accommodation.
Ideally 40+ and non smoker.

ME: Laura Bennett. Been divorced longer than married = single.
No dependents. Lease just run out on cottage.
Sales job going nowhere.

So, I decided to go for it. I mean what could be simpler than looking after an 82 year old English lady? I had visions of gentle strolls to the boulangerie, compulsorily siestas. But this was before I met Betty. She looked like everybody’s favourite grandmother until Jean Louis arrived to pick her up on his Kawasaki 1200!

Part uploaded here. To read the rest...

Now available as an ebook on amazon: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0053D5KNQ
Complete at 69,085 words.

 

Mature, educated, healing hand....

Helen Ducal

I believe that sex is the most beautiful, natural and wholesome thing that money can buy.
Attributed to Steve Martin.


I could say ‘It just happened’ but then I’m not a man and of course it didn’t.
It all started with the less than desirable Christmas and birthday presents.
After a little persuasion people started giving me gift tokens, then record and at last book tokens but this was soon followed mercifully, by ‘Here you might as well have the money and buy what you really want’…RESULT!

Many years later I considered mentioning this concept to my newly acquired ardent admirer who insisted on whisking me off to Fortnum and Masons, to perch precariously on a mahogany stool in the Oyster Bar for a dozen of the same, which I can live without, quaffed down with some vintage champagne, which I don’t really like, only then for him to pay for a hotel room, knowing full well that we will be out of there in a couple of hours. And all so he can get laid.

Chapters 1-7 are Ok but the rest are works in progress.

 

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latest

Frantibes wrote 5 days ago

Hi Helen, Yes I deleted the new book. I don't know why but I felt....

AndrewStevens wrote 13 days ago

My new novel, 'The Poet' was recently chosen by Rachel, the Harper Co....

AuroraNemesis wrote 17 days ago

I would be very grateful if you could find the time to check my book ....

Brian G Chambers wrote 17 days ago

Hi I am currently sitting at 170 here on authonomy with my Tales for ....

Nathan O'Hagan wrote 19 days ago

Hi Would you mind having a look at my novel? I'm looking for feedbac....

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my comments

latest

I wrote 224 days ago

Hi Dan. Great to see you on here. You have my backing. It is on my shelf BUT you need to sort out the formatting issues. When i first read this chapter, (at The Old Fire Staion) the words were not all over the friggin' place. ;-) And yes, Susan is right. Too many !!! This first page... view book

I wrote 474 days ago

I love biographies. I know nothing of Jack London but I think 'his boyish grin which would carry him through his entire life', tells me quite a lot. The weather sets the scenes and takes us to the locations. There is great internal monologue, introducing us to the characters. The short sentences and... view book

I wrote 659 days ago

Truly laugh out loud moments, lots of them! I feel I know these characters. Great pace. So many one liners...will have to go back and check...oh yes paint colours, placenta charm. Excellent. totally backed. Cheers Helen Ducal view book

I wrote 659 days ago

Already on my shelf. Loved the pitch. Now I'm reading your tale and I'm nodding so often ( agreeing, not tired!) that I'm getting dizzy. Serioulsy though, great observations. Yep, Italians love kids don't they. And know what you mean about being 'home', especially when others don't get it... For me ... view book

I wrote 667 days ago

Ok Moonbeam ( sorry that was lame of moi) Thank you for your comments. You say they are intended to be constructive...that'll be in a 'smack you in the face with a wet fish' kinda way?? However, I had already restructered the opening paragraph, as you suggested ( now uploaded) to lead more dir... view book

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