Honey Sweetheart The short and long pitches are well written and give the reader a clear idea of what this story is about. In the long pitch, the second 'sin' is somewhat repetitive. Suggest replace it with 'temptation'. "yet Honey doesn't know the Spirit." I think many readers wouldn't under... view book

I have given this book 6 stars for your writing, but perhaps more emphasis in the matriarchal aspect of Indian family orientated culture in the short and long pitches, especially with regard to the way matriarchs take the hardest line with errant young women. Backed. view book

You can certainly write, though some of the details might be a bit obscure for readers who are not familiar with Kuwait. Hope to sound constructive rather than negative. If you decide to re-work this book at a future date or haven't finished it yet or wish to write a sequel, hope you take on board s... view book

I find the subject of dreams fascinating. The content is vivid and well written. Stylistically, it might read more fluidly with longer sentences and shorter paragraphs. She's walking along a passageway, the floor a glittery white and the tiled walls a polished pink and silver. Along these walls ... view book

Breath of Africa. Jane, this is very well written. It's good that you jump straight into a scene to give the reader a sense of 'real time'. With such an exotic location, a few more descriptions might be in order to transport the reader there: the heat and humidity/perspiration, smells, sounds, th... view book