"One thing that I did struggle with occasionally was the language within the book. As a British reader I found everything very American (descriptions, products, places)," says the HarperCollins reviewer. How dare he write an American book! "I think that with some editing to adapt certain words... view book

This needs a run through the spell check, as well as some properly placed commas. tonight = that night, if we are to use the past tense. the scroungy man said/replied the pretty girl… dialogue tags like these are unnecessary. We already know whom he is addressing. Cutting these tags will make ... view book

The first paragraph could work as an introduction, but I would suggest separating it somehow from the rest… and it you separate it, you almost have to make it longer, get more out of it. I would either do more with it or nothing at all. My arrival at the recreation zone made it clear why most of ... view book

SF42 Review There is a gripping event lurking in that prologue, waiting to shine, but a few things need to be brushed away first. There are a lot of unnecessary modifiers, words like “unimaginably” that are instructing readers on what to think as well as clogging up the sentences. I would counsel... view book

the fourth managed raise the alarm… managed TO raise part was, in many ways mitigated… either omit the comma or give it a partner find cover and the barrage being poorly aimed, only… a comma between ‘and’ and ‘the’ as you will do doubt have heard… ‘do’ should be ‘no’ Mr. Lloyd-Jones who ... view book