This is a wonderful read. Nice character development. I'm drawn into the story. One suggestion: watch the balance of simple and complex sentences within your paragraphs. You're fairly good at it, but some paragraphs seem to get away from you and turn into longer diatribes. Maybe take at look at thos... view book

I'm a fairly tough critic and know within the first couple of paragraphs whether or not a book will eventually end up on my shelf. When the tension builds to a point where the book becomes a drug, I have to stop because now I NEED it on my bookshelf. It becomes one of those books where if you interr... view book

Cool concept, but the execution.. I'm a little uncertain of this. A CB radio? Very dated. Who is the audience for this book? What do they look like? What type of job do they have? Where do they live? (Middle America?) In the longer passages you need a better mix of simple and complex sentences. ... view book

Too many !!!!!!! of these. Your words need to do the talking, not the punctuation. Take the foreward out of italics, it's too long a passage and the reader's eyes will tire or they will skip it all together. You need a better balance in your paragraphs of short and long sentences. So many sentences ... view book