1. Grammar. There is a distinct lack of it. Even in your pitch sentence - with a comma after a snippet of speech. Grammar: get some into you. 2. Stop telling me things. Stop beating me over the head with exposition the size of a deli salami. Show me your story. If people wanted to read facts they... view book

Hm. Finally something to put on my shelf. I've not found anything else on here I've liked enough to do so. The premise is brilliant. A few stand out moments include the universal undead noise of discovery, the revelation that anything Fred thinks is muttered as 'Braaaains' and the real tragedy of... view book

Your message asked for some feedback. No problem! First of all I should say this isn't my usual genre, but that's okay. I was still interested in what I was reading. I think that's helped a great deal by the amount of research you've done on the subject, not only in terms of politics, world-stagi... view book

Well done. This is really good - you've got skill! I loved the setting, the background you're creating through the story. I instantly liked the protagonist, which is great. The only thing I'd have to complain about is that for me it's a struggle to read with so many bloody apostrophes! view book

Hey there. I'm glad someone else enjoys the same thing I do: the mundane beauty of trash. That is, specific lines relating to the 'carcass' of a grandfater clock - loved it! The detail you engendered into your story was really enjoyable and the way it was described was smooth and alluring. I w... view book