Demonslayer by Ryuu Kaze

This is a journey of a young man through a world of wars and fascination, in an effort to find himself.

It started with the cloaked swordsman during the summer festival, and continued with the spiriting away of Aven "Kaze" Thompson and his friend, Nikki Yui. Lost on a world simultaneously strange and familiar to him, Kaze must find a way to survive and rescue Nikki. At the same time, he'll find his own place in the world, and discover that there is far more to himself and the events surrounding him than anyone has realized...

  • Classification: Moderate
  • Work is: Fully available on Authonomy
  • First submitted July 15, 2009
  • Last updated July 15, 2009
Demonslayer
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  • On 1 bookshelf
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  • Retired user
    dr.manjeet wrote 3 years ago

    Thank you for a very very good read.Dr Manjeet Singh

  • Ryuu Kaze's avatar
    Ryuu Kaze Author wrote 3 years, 2 months ago

    Recently been doing some major editing to the end of the book. Don't have anything up just yet--I want to finish the edits first.

  • Ryuu Kaze's avatar
    Ryuu Kaze Author wrote 4 years ago

    Updated all the chapters to deal with various typos, and I'm fairly certain that certain parts in the middle of the book have been updated/expanded as well since the last time I was on here. I seriously need to get back here more often.... <.<;

  • JohnRL1029's avatar
    JohnRL1029 wrote 5 years, 11 months ago

    I can see the influences of anime in this. Very well-written, sharp dialogue, intriguing characters. Love the names. WL.

  • Ryuu Kaze's avatar
    Ryuu Kaze Author wrote 6 years ago

    Okay, so I went through Demonslayer and tried to fix some of my mistakes, like places where I must have started editing and then gotten distracted. I've added a few small parts here and there, but nothing too big. I tried to keep in mind everyone's comments so far.

  • Lockjaw Lipssealed's avatar
    Lockjaw Lipssealed wrote 6 years ago
    Ryuu, I'm going to be tough on you because I think you really have something here. Your writing is inconsistent at times....I moment you offer us some great lines and very solid writing, while in the next paragragh it is awkward and confusing. I love the life you give to your characters...it became very visuale as I read and that's makes for a great read. I think if you tighten up the writing a bit, you could see this published. ...
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  • Retired user
    JANVIER wrote 6 years ago

    Help Ryuu,

    Your fascinating story on such a wonderful premise has what it takes to capture its target readership and win a wider range of readers. It is well written and intuitively observed, fulfilling the standards of what to me is an accomplished writing. Rightly shelved.

    All the best.

    Janvier (Flash of the Sun)

  • pictureingrey's avatar
    pictureingrey wrote 6 years ago

    Excellent! You have a great sense of style, and your characterisation is very skilful. You've built an excellent world here, the dialogue flows and you have a believable narrative voice.

  • Alecia Stone's avatar
    Alecia Stone wrote 6 years ago

    Hi Ryuu,

    This is a fascinating story. Wonderful imagery that brings the story to life. I was pulled in from the start and thoroughly enjoyed reading this book. Great characterisation and dialogue. All the best.

    Shelved!

    Shinzy :)

  • divilthebit's avatar
    divilthebit wrote 6 years ago

    Very well written and enjoyable. You have imagery and excitement dripping off the lines, excellent. Good luck on here, backed, Michael

  • Retired user
    Ariom Dahl [Retired] wrote 6 years ago
    Ryuu, I read the first chapter of this and although it's not really my sort of thing it reads well. Minor nitpick - it's always means it is or it has, and without the apostrophe (its) is the possessive form. I think that was just a typo as you used it correctly later. I would also rephrase the sentence that begins 'Falling to his knees, the tears streamed openly ... ' I would write: 'He fell to his knees with ...
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  • Retired user
    cara_ruegg [Retired] wrote 6 years ago

    you are very good at depicting the setting. you give the reader beautiful imagery to ponder. this is brillantly written. i loved it. shelved.
    -Cara

  • soutexmex's avatar
    soutexmex wrote 6 years ago

    Swapping the read we agreed to earlier today. Make the paragraphs tighter, so the pace picks up and draws the reader in from the git-go. SHELVED! Looking forward to your comments.

    JC
    The Obergemau File

  • Ryuu Kaze's avatar
    Ryuu Kaze Author wrote 6 years ago
    [QUOTE] Hi Ryuu- This is not normally the type of book I would pick up to read, but I can tell from your writing that you portray the story well. Your pitch is very well done - nicely efficient! And your characters and dialogue are convincing. Well done and best of luck to you! Shelved. Kim Invisible Justice [ENDQUOTE] Thanks a lot. I've been working on this book for a long time, and I love seeing who likes it and ...
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  • Kim Jewell's avatar
    Kim Jewell wrote 6 years ago

    Hi Ryuu-

    This is not normally the type of book I would pick up to read, but I can tell from your writing that you portray the story well. Your pitch is very well done - nicely efficient! And your characters and dialogue are convincing. Well done and best of luck to you! Shelved.

    Kim
    Invisible Justice

  • Retired user
    Bill James [Retired] wrote 6 years ago
    Hi Ryuu You open up with an an exciting scene, but in my opinion, you keep slowing it down with big chunks of description & back-story. Maybe you could open up with the bells ringing, then the fight scene, and feed in the back-story when the reader needs to draw a breath. Just something to consider. I see you've written 160,000 words so you must have some serious intent to create a good story here, and for that I'm happy ...
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