MINDFORGER by K.Z. Freeman

What would you do if you saw how the world will die? What could you do?



"I wish I could tell you time heals all wounds. But it seems that, the more time we have, the more wounds we get. And when we finally manage to forget the old ones, we look upon the scars..."


Max Byron is the proxy of a living god, and his god hates him. Or so it would seem. Given the power to bend men to his will, Max scours the world and does his master's bidding. All this he does because of His words, words Max had heard in his mind the day his family was murdered. "I can bring them back."

Max's wish, however, to see his family again, sends his mind racing to find the psychic who had promised to return them to him. But how does one find a man with a thousands faces? One who is seemingly everywhere and nowhere? How does one find a god?

To do this, Max must enter a different sphere of existence, one that transforms his mind and the world around him, bringing him face to face with truths he couldn't even dream of.


[prequel to Starforger - complete]

  • Classification: Moderate
  • Work is: Extract only on Authonomy
  • First submitted Dec. 22, 2009
  • Last updated Dec. 22, 2009
MINDFORGER
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  • Neuravinci's avatar
    Neuravinci wrote 8 months, 3 weeks ago

    Hey, this is pretty good, the writing could be tighter, maybe not have as much exposition. Perhaps make the sentences more clipped, to add tension, etc. But overall, rather decent :)

  • Retired user
    Trenor [Retired] wrote 2 years, 2 months ago
    Been going back between chap 1 and 2 trying to figure out if it is a mistake(?) that they seem to be the same - or perhaps something else that reveals itself later on in the book? I must admit I have not yet read the entire thing yet, so in that case, please excuse my ignorance. Just thought I should mention in case it was an upload mistake. But other than that, this is VERY well written. (wondering also ...
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  • Seringapatam's avatar
    Seringapatam wrote 2 years, 2 months ago
    I have read three chapters of this book and although cannot give a critique, I can tell you how I felt as a reader. Superb. What a hook this book is. Intelligent writing and where this came from I will never know. I often wonder how people can think up something like this. I applaud you. Superb flowing read. Great premise. rolls along at the right pace, very deep and powerful words. I was hooked from the first few paragraphs ...
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  • Lady Long Legs's avatar
    Lady Long Legs wrote 2 years, 2 months ago

    Wonderfully Faust. This is a great read, very enjoyable.

  • Retired user
    Sasha12345 [Retired] wrote 2 years, 8 months ago

    I read the first chapter and I like very much how you go through the dream sequence. Although I must say that it is a little depressing way to start your novel, but it does keep your attention. I will keep on my shelf for now and keep the high rate I gave you. Good luck.

  • Retired user
    Stan_the_Man [Retired] wrote 2 years, 8 months ago

    Very good book so far. I will read more soon, along with the other books on my shelf, and try to give you my opinion. Backed and rated high.

  • Retired user
    Sasha12345 [Retired] wrote 2 years, 8 months ago

    I will read your book soon. I have put it on my shelf and highly starred.

  • Abby Vandiver's avatar
    Abby Vandiver wrote 2 years, 8 months ago
    Well, I only read to Chapter Three ( I think that one and two are the same?), and what I get is God (a god) manifested as a man. Of course, if I got that right that's all I know. The writing is some where out there, which I suppose is appropriate for this out there (in a good way) story. It is only for a few because of its abstract and vague nature. The writing, however, is good,without error, ...
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  • scargirl's avatar
    scargirl wrote 3 years ago

    good piece for its genre. great opening, too. and i have to agree....the more time goes by the more wounds we suffer...
    j

  • Willie Triplett's avatar
    Willie Triplett wrote 3 years, 5 months ago

    I need your input on my pitch

  • Karen Eisenbrey's avatar
    Karen Eisenbrey wrote 3 years, 9 months ago
    KZ, Mindforger has been on my watchlist for I don't know how long! I finally had a chance to check it out. This is an imaginative piece that works as both straight-up speculative fiction and as theological allegory. I had forgotten that English is not your first language, and really couldn't tell from the text. In fact, the complexity of the language puts this at the literary end of the genre -- not a bad place to be! The prologue ...
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  • Jane Catherine's avatar
    Jane Catherine wrote 3 years, 10 months ago
    Hi KZ, Your imagination is certainly rooted in cyberspace! I like how you portray the antagonist at an invisible entity. My suggestion when you next edit would be to read it aloud or have someone read it to you as there are a few areas that don't flow as freely as you want them to be. For example, at the end of chapter two, your use of the words "Him and His" could be modified or dropped all together. My ...
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  • Jane Catherine's avatar
    Jane Catherine wrote 3 years, 10 months ago
    Hi KZ, Your imagination is certainly rooted in cyberspace! I like how you portray the antagonist at an invisible entity. My suggestion when you next edit would be to read it aloud or have someone read it to you as there are a few areas that don't flow as freely as you want them to be. For example, at the end of chapter two, your use of the words "Him and His" could be modified or dropped all together. My ...
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  • CarolinaAl's avatar
    CarolinaAl wrote 3 years, 10 months ago
    I read your prologue. General comments: An engaging start. An interesting main character. Lyrical narrative. Vivid imagery. Good tension in this chapter. Good pacing. Specific comments on the prologue: 1) 'He fears it' is telling. How does this fear manifest? Consider describing the onset of his fear so vividly the reader will experience it along with him. When you do this, the reader will be pulled deeper into the scene. 2) ' ... a light a inside the fading haze.' ...
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  • Retired user
    DragonLady [Retired] wrote 3 years, 10 months ago

    Excellent imagery and well written. An interesting subject although not my particular genre. A few misspellings found that would not show in spellcheck, but all-in-all great read. Highly starred and backed.
    Gretchen
    "Drágön Spawn"

  • OpheliaWrites's avatar
    OpheliaWrites wrote 3 years, 10 months ago

    I agree that "time drags on". You may want to open with a bit more action. I had to resist the urge to skim. The language and imagery is superb but also easy to get lost in.

  • tecmic's avatar
    tecmic wrote 3 years, 10 months ago

    I can wander off into other worlds, visualise the unthinkable and create the unimaginable but this is too abstract for my taste. Nevertheless, I recognise the skill employed and applaud the poetic influence, which helps the story flow. Nicely constructed and a good premise...should be popular.

  • Retired user
    Justis Call [Retired] wrote 3 years, 10 months ago
    As promised (quite some time ago...my apologies) I have read through a portion of Starforger. I must say first off that I really like the title - it has a ring of fascination with the simple combination of words. Which then leads me to the expectation of further fascinating word combination.....and I have not been disappointed! Authonomy chapter 9, your chapter 7, for example: "His rage blazed over the robotic monster." I can easily visualize the rage that is 'blazing.' ...
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  • Retired user
    Justis Call [Retired] wrote 3 years, 10 months ago
    As promised (quite some time ago...my apologies) I have read through a portion of Starforger. I must say first off that I really like the title - it has a ring of fascination with the simple combination of words. Which then leads me to the expectation of further fascinating word combination.....and I have not been disappointed! Authonomy chapter 9, your chapter 7, for example: "His rage blazed over the robotic monster." I can easily visualize the rage that is 'blazing.' ...
    Read more
  • Retired user
    J.Kinkade [Retired] wrote 3 years, 10 months ago
    Hi K.Z. Your pitch (parts of it) look intriguing. But the first sentence/para could be better, I think. ///It looked at him with an expression a human being might recognize as disdain and said,/// Do you really, really need this line? First, I think "it" can be turned into whatever 'it" is. Because, as I read it, I want to envision something scary. I'm only assuming it's scary, based on what follows. Maybe the "it" is not at all scary. ...
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