Just a Slow News Day by Gene Cryer

A satiric tale of a chronic loser who learns on Christmas morning that he has won a $100 million lottery prize...and then things get worse.

Luke Wahrm, labeled at birth as a chronic loser, has been unsuccessful all of his life, even at commiting suicide. After a Christmas Eve encounter with a woman he believes to be a prostitute and a visit to a church run by a recovering alcoholic, ex-con, mail order preacher, a friendly but somewhat eccentric lady cop conducts an exorcism of the ghosts of Christmases Past in a ceremony in Florida's Everglades.
On Christmas morning, Luke discovers he has won $100 million in the Florida Lottery. And then things get worse.
Million dollar gifts to friends and family are greeted with hostility, suspicion and greed. His sudden sucess as the author of a controversial novel generates what seems to be incessant picketing and TV news attention. But all of that discomfort is mild compared to his attempted kidnapping by two derelicts armed with a water pistol.

  • Classification: Universal
  • Work is: Extract only on Authonomy
  • First submitted Jan. 17, 2010
  • Last updated Jan. 17, 2010
Just a Slow News Day
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  • Raymond Nickford's avatar
    Raymond Nickford wrote 5 years, 6 months ago
    The first scene succinctly conveys Wahrm as a likeable is not hapless loser, the superstitious comforts of his grandmother also neatly mirroring the kind of humble person he is. On ending the first scene, there's a sense of the biblical doctrine 'the meek shall inherit the earth' - except that the Bible failed to refer to a lottery ticket. The 'tenth of a gallon of gasoline' and a variety of other interwoven details very nicely maintain the consistency of Wahrm's ...
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  • vkon's avatar
    vkon wrote 5 years, 6 months ago

    Sounds like my kinda book and humor!!! It'sbacked

  • Retired user
    Sheila Belshaw [Retired] wrote 5 years, 6 months ago
    JUST A SLOW NEWS DAY: Gene, I love the justaposition between the laconic title and the vibrancy and drama of the pitch. A pitch that promises a roller coaster of a ride for Luke, this complex protagonist who in spite of his failure at everything including attempted suicide, has the luck of one in a million and then seems at first unable to handle the inevitable adverse repurcussions. With a cleverly constructed plot like this, the novel is destined to ...
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  • lionel25's avatar
    lionel25 wrote 5 years, 6 months ago

    Gene, your chapter one flows smoothly. Good writing. Only thing I can nitpick is your spelling of "ceremony" in the synopsis.


    Joffrey (The Silver Spoon Effect)

  • Retired user
    SRFire [Retired] wrote 5 years, 6 months ago

    Backed with pleasure, Sana

  • Harold2's avatar
    Harold2 wrote 5 years, 6 months ago

    I thought I had already commented on this as I know I had read it before. Was more than happy to read some more though.
    Hope this keeps climbing to the top 5

  • MiniMePom's avatar
    MiniMePom wrote 5 years, 6 months ago

    Wonderful. I would definitely buy this book. I like the focus on ordinary people with problems, rather than than characters with perfect lives who just happen to stumble onto an adventure. This book drew me in from the first word.

  • Andee Hughes's avatar
    Andee Hughes wrote 5 years, 6 months ago

    Hi Gene. Very enjoyable, well-written with a strong main character.
    Andrea. Breach of Faith.

  • Helena's avatar
    Helena wrote 5 years, 6 months ago

    Hi Gene, this is really well written, great dialogue I find it hard but you have an authentic voice and ear for it. I like the premise, Wahrm is a good character, strongly written I think you know him well. On my shelf. Helena (A Load of Rubbish)

  • Carrots's avatar
    Carrots wrote 5 years, 7 months ago

    This is rather good (Brit. understatement). It does come over that the author is not new to writing. This reader felt instantly comfortable with the style and the story. This is a writer who knows exactly what he's doing....main character POV, given up smoking,dry, divorced (twice), bit of a loser (on the surface)....but honest. You know that you're in for a damn good, well-told story. Backed.

  • CarolinaAl's avatar
    CarolinaAl wrote 5 years, 7 months ago

    Tight, straight forward storytelling. Luke is an interesting character. I like him. Your dialogue is realistic. Your imagery is vivid. Masterful use of words. For example, 'when the day exhausted itself on the western horizon.' Great verb choice. Great premise. A delightful read. Backed.

  • KW's avatar
    KW wrote 5 years, 7 months ago
    ". . . and then things get worse." "Wahrm had enough money left in his pocket to complete the weekly ritual of mailing inquiries to literary agents followed by a beer and a burger at Skip's bar." Sounds familiar. Writing is no simple task, but "it's harder than writing." Yeah, almost impossible anymore. About as probable as winning $100 million in a lottery. This starts very well, I like your clean descriptive abilities and your realistic dialogue. It's full of ...
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  • Retired user
    T.L Tyson [Retired] wrote 5 years, 7 months ago
    I love reading, but lately Authonomy seemed to have sucked it out of me. Well your little gem of a book here revived me. The amount of character you put into your MC is just amazing. Really you do a wonderful job of depicting Luke to us. His tone, his car, his style. The way he is. It just leaped off the page for me. He is believable because he is flawed. He is believable because he isn't a hero. ...
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  • Retired user
    DDickson [Retired] wrote 5 years, 7 months ago
    First things first - a complaint - I have just had an enforced two day break, sat down to whizz through a few reads and opened this. I am now on chapter 8. That is not funny, I usually read one chapter and then dip and dive. Anyway - Just a slow news day. I only ever comment as a reader - that is because I don't feel qualified to do more, I am however a voracious reader! I immediately ...
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  • Jared's avatar
    Jared wrote 5 years, 7 months ago
    Gene, I love the title and your pitches are enticing and packed with interest although I'd suggest replacing "satiric" in "A satiric tale of a chronic loser" with the more traditional "satirical." I've read all your nine chapters posted to date. The short chapters do a great job of keeping the story moving along and you've given us a fine character in Luke. This is a thoughtfully constructed book and there seems every reason to believe that the rest of ...
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  • David Fearnhead's avatar
    David Fearnhead wrote 5 years, 7 months ago
    This is solid work, both in construction and execution. You manage to pen Luke as one of life's misfortunates. Though you refer to him as a loser, he still has enough about him for the reader not to write him of completely. I didn't find myself pitying him to the extent where I thought I'd like to help him out with his next suicide bid, as can sometimes happen with a less skillful writer. I thought I'll stick with this ...
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  • gillyflower's avatar
    gillyflower wrote 5 years, 7 months ago
    Your very funny and attractive pitch make me eager to read this book, and it's been a great read. Your writing matches the pitch in being both amusing and interesting. Luke is a character I fell for at once. I suppose a writer trying to get published is naturally someone whom I, as a similar writer, can easily relate to; but you've made Luke a very vivid character. His voice is excellent, both in dialogue and in his thoughts. I ...
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  • Paige Pendleton's avatar
    Paige Pendleton wrote 5 years, 7 months ago

    Great read. Luke wormed his way right in, the humor is great. There is something about Florida that is conducive to humor, and you've tapped into it. Great pace, great dialogue, setting/descriptives delivered easily in/as the story.

  • Roe's avatar
    Roe wrote 5 years, 7 months ago

    Great start, like the characters and your style of writing. A great title, too. Backed

  • Christina McClean's avatar
    Christina McClean wrote 5 years, 7 months ago
    I immediately took a liking to Wahrm, feeling sorry for him - bit of a loser. I found the dialogue came across as naturel and believable. Liked the conversation with Candy. Is Candy going to appear later on I wonder. There are sentences I love like, "Lukes mind was an empire of bad attitude." and "I've had enough screw ups and failures to make a necklace if I could turn them into beads. The short chapters make it very easy ...
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