The Existence Game by J.S. Adams

Told with warmth, insight, and humor, The Existence Game portrays the life of Alex Moser, a young woman suffering from and overcoming Borderline Personality Disorder.

“...I investigated every place in my bedroom that a murderer might hide -- even, I'm not kidding, my desk drawers... then got into my closet, pulling shoes, comic books and other stuff over me, so the murderers wouldn't see me. They'd figure I was a pile of junk. But even then, the pile of junk couldn't get to sleep. I hallucinated the sound of footsteps, breathing, even threatening whispers. Roasting under the blankets, I read by flashlight until I couldn't keep my eyes open.”

Alex Moser, a self-declared nutcase, is at the end of her rope. Finding little meaning in a life governed by innumerable phobias, she finally gives suicide a shot, but… “I couldn’t even get that right!” she moans upon awakening in the hospital. The Existence Game chronicles two months in Alex’s life, detailing her path from suicide attempt to long-awaited healing. Peopled with complex, intriguing characters and situations, this is an altogether inspirational and uplifting story.

  • Classification: Moderate
  • Work is: Fully available on Authonomy
  • First submitted Feb. 26, 2010
  • Last updated Feb. 26, 2010
The Existence Game
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  • HarperCollins's avatar
    HarperCollins wrote 1 year, 7 months ago
    Based on the name alone, I’d expected this to be a science fiction submission. I was pleasantly surprised to find ‘The Existence Game’ to be a brave and thorough account of a young woman’s life with Borderline Personality Disorder. The book details – minutely! – two tumultuous months in the life of Alex Moser. Alex is a great protagonist. Her illness is severe, but she also has just enough self-deprecation and wit (‘I admit I felt some satisfaction when I ...
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  • Retired user
    asatafsteve wrote 1 year, 10 months ago

    plan to read this later will let you know what I think

  • Maevesleibhin's avatar
    Maevesleibhin wrote 1 year, 11 months ago
    Existence Game Judy, I read the whole book as posted. This was an engaging, emotive and entertaining read (pardon the alliteration). It was sometimes hard to remember this is a work of fiction. This fact makes it more vibrant, but has consequences. On the one hand, it allowed me to forgive some (but not all) moments of discourse with which I would have had a hard time with in a fiction narrative. On the other hand, some of the moments ...
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  • Lara's avatar
    Lara wrote 1 year, 11 months ago

    Another backing. Can't have The Existence Game going below 5.

  • Retired user
    doggod42 wrote 1 year, 11 months ago
    Speaking of mental illness, after reading the first page of glowing comments I'm beginning to think I might be insane. Clearly these people all live in a different universe from me. I found the first chapter so boring and tedious I had to start skimming ... just in case something interesting came along. It didn't. Sentence after sentence, paragraph after paragraph of telling me things as if you assumed I was interested. Where did you get that idea? Instead of ...
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  • lizzcorn's avatar
    lizzcorn wrote 1 year, 12 months ago
    Chapter one: The first few paragraphs kind of make you think. You know something is going on, but you have worded it so that the reader keeps guessing. I like it. Poor Alexis! It would be horrible to be frightened everyday. You really grab the reader’s attention with her misery also, her mother makes the reader mad. Chapter one is good. It keeps the reader interested enough so that they turn the page. The only paragraph I had issues with ...
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  • Nigel Fields's avatar
    Nigel Fields wrote 1 year, 12 months ago

    Backed with pleasure.

  • Jodi Louise Nicholls's avatar
    Jodi Louise Nicholls wrote 2 years ago

    This isn't my genre, but I absolutely love your sense of flow. You have a beautiful way with words and I have no criticism to give (not that I like to anyway!) I am immediately drawn to Alex and worryingly can empathise! I've happily shelved and look forward to reading more.

    Kind regards,

    Jodi. ~Evalesco~

  • Buck Rogers!!!'s avatar
    Buck Rogers!!! wrote 2 years ago

    Excellent writing. I'm new to this site, but if your book's anything to go by, I've come to to the right place.

    Backed and six stars.

  • John J. Lawrence's avatar
    John J. Lawrence wrote 2 years ago
    Hello Judy, Your protagonist, Alexis, tugs on the reader's heartstrings from the very beginning of the story. The feeling of oneness with Alexis is immediate and engrossing, as she impresses the reader as someone telling her story from across the kitchen table over a cup of coffee. Nicely done! Some technical critiques for your consideration: Quoting other writers before starting Alexis's story only serves to stall the beginning. Start at the beginning with Alexis introducing herself. Drop the quotes from ...
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  • Susan Boyes's avatar
    Susan Boyes wrote 2 years ago
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  • Alena J.'s avatar
    Alena J. wrote 2 years ago
    Wow, this is quite well-written. You have a clinical approach to truly terrible events that makes them more haunting than if a lot of emotion was coming through. Your writing is very realistic and autobiographical, making it tantalizing to those of us who haven't experienced life in the same ways your MC has. I did feel like the first chapter was overly long and ended rather abruptly. Wishing you all the best with this though! High stars and a place ...
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  • Kate Steele's avatar
    Kate Steele wrote 2 years, 1 month ago

    The opening lines of chapter grabbed me by the throat and pulled me in - such original, intelligent, quirky writing. Your heroine's train of though sparks off all kinds of associations in the reader (even though most of us won't have experienced such dark experiences) and makes her believable, in spite of the fact that she is totally dysfunctional. High stars.
    Kate Steele, Is That All there Is?

  • R. Dango's avatar
    R. Dango wrote 2 years, 1 month ago

    This is so well-written. It's hard to believe that it's a fiction but maybe it's easier to read for a reader thinking it's a fiction. This is one of those books I'd buy, and leave for a long time in my book shelf until I get into the right mood, but once I've read, I'd always keep it with me.


  • W.D. Frank's avatar
    W.D. Frank wrote 2 years, 1 month ago
    Ugh...I am sorry, I really wanted to read more of this magnificent book however unfortunately I have to make time for other people's books too. I read the first seven chapters and I am feeling rather depressed already. I don't have borderline personality disorder however I do have bipolar disorder and one of my biggest fears is being abandoned. So, this is one of those few stories that can provoke an empathetic response from me. I don't know if this ...
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  • rachel_mary's avatar
    rachel_mary wrote 2 years, 1 month ago
    What a natural, quick-fire writing style you have! This is an absolute joy to read, and I don't say that often. The fact that many people have mistaken this for a memoir pretty much sums up both its strengths and weaknesses. On the one hand, it is as vivid and crammed with detail as though you had actually lived it. On the other hand, there seems to be, in the early chapters at least, no plot as such. Clarifying some ...
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  • Billie Storm's avatar
    Billie Storm wrote 2 years, 1 month ago
    Fiction, eh? Well researched. I like this very much, even got over the wee spiky intros to each chapter, provenance uncertain. Enjoyed the candour, the summary of abuse, or rather explanation, and gradually won over by narrator. The outsider is my favourite subject, or should I say, default setting, and you've scoped this character eloquently with enough mordant humour to give this reader distance from pathos - deftly skirting around issues can actually bring them into focus. Haven't read very ...
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  • Retired user
    Fragmented [Retired] wrote 2 years, 2 months ago
    Hey Judy, Oh wow....bloody fantastic! And well done you in getting so high up the charts! I love the title, too. CHAPTER ONE I adore it when she chucks all of his stuff out the window. Genius. Wanted to do this myself to a few ex-boyfriends but never had the guts. Everything she does is just brilliantly putting on all the clothes, and I sort of think okaaaaaay...I kinda get that, and then with all of the other stuff ...
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  • Jane Mauret's avatar
    Jane Mauret wrote 2 years, 2 months ago
    Hello, JS Adams I think the inner self-talk comes across as very realistic and not too over the top. I think most people would be able to relate to what the MC is saying. There was humour too, eg, when Alex chucks all Grunner’s out the window.’ Here the MC hints at her lack of self-esteem when she describes how surprised she was to be going out with that particular guy. Then we learn that the gun has been knocking ...
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  • Retired user
    Nanty wrote 2 years, 2 months ago
    The Existence Game. I think this works so well because people can relate to at least one or two of the issues Alexis has, maybe more. For me, it seemed she had been groomed to fail by her mother, and I felt very angry with her father for letting this happen, as he was in part responsible for the downward trajectory of his child's life. Alexis' alta ego, which is how I viewed the GR, is never far from her, ...
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