Hope (1st Revision) by Matthew Hahn

A story of survival, hope, and horror from the period of the Holocaust.

In Poland, 1939, a man with shadowed eyes squeezed the trigger that killed Daniel Friedman. Not the man but the parts of him that mattered, made life worth living. It happened in a click, a scream, his name—Daniel, a shot, the silence that followed. The man he used to be, lost in a flash.

After the German invasion of Poland, Daniel is captured and sent to a concentration camp where he is positioned as a sonderkommando. He is plagued with the task of removing the clothing of the dead before placing them in a crematorium's never-ending flames.

While Daniel is confined in a concentration camp, his brother, Adam, is supplied with false information that causes him to believe his brother was murdered by the passing German army. In a fit of rage, Adam vows to seek revenge on the only two names he is given, The Vulture and Wolf.

  • Classification: Universal
  • Work is: Extract only on Authonomy
  • First submitted Aug. 31, 2010
  • Last updated Aug. 31, 2010
Hope (1st Revision)
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  • carol jefferies's avatar
    carol jefferies wrote 2 years, 5 months ago

    Hi Matthew,

    What a great start to 'Hope 1st Revision,' it leaves the reader eager to know how Daniel transformed into the person he now is.

    I liked the small observations of herding the Jews into the railway trucks by the German guards, falsely promising them a future so they would avoid any protest.

    Hope is a brilliant name for your story.

    Good Luck with it,

    Carol

  • Shelby Z.'s avatar
    Shelby Z. wrote 3 years ago
    You capture the feel of this time completely in the dark foreboding mood of the situation. Your POV is perfectly chosen. How could it be anything else? The words flow across the page in deep feelings and you feel a chill. You lead so well up to your next chapter that it draws. I like your last three paragraphs there is something about them that is leading. I am sure though, no matter how well written, it was difficult to ...
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  • tupbup's avatar
    tupbup wrote 3 years ago
    Chapter 1: You show a clear talent as a story teller. 98277 strolls into the first sentence as a fully dimensional character who I could believe in and sympathise with. By choosing to reject his given name shows the reader in a few short words how prisoners were dehumanised in the eyes of the anti-semites. You use interesting and original similes which really add to the impact of your writing as a whole. For example: "shakes every one like marbles ...
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  • Retired user
    strachan gordon wrote 3 years, 9 months ago

    Greetings to Minnesota from England.This is a very difficult and ambitious theme to tackle,even today when we know so much more about what went on than in the past, I was amazed to read that you are only 22!This is a\ very mature performance and very best of luck.Watchlisted.Would you be kind enough to look at the first chapter of my book ' A Buccaneer' which is set in the Caribbean in the 17th century,best wishes Strachan Gordon

  • Nigel Fields's avatar
    Nigel Fields wrote 3 years, 11 months ago
    Your approach to this is interesting. On the surface, it seems your narration is distant, but in ratcheting up the concentration, it becomes apparent to the reader how very intimate this is. I loved the line about the man anxiously dipping his toes in and out of the pool of emotion, sending small ripples away from his body. I enjoyed the first two chapters today. When I come back to read more, I just might have Gorecki's Symphony of Sad ...
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  • Marita A. Hansen's avatar
    Marita A. Hansen wrote 4 years, 3 months ago
    I have just finished reading a story on Authonomy about David and Goliath, and then I came across your book, and thought it was apt to read it ("Star of David.") I had time to read the prologue, and thought this was a very sad, but convincing portrayal of a man trying to deal with being in a concentration camp. If anything, he isn't dealing with it anymore, because as we read we understand that all hope has left him, ...
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  • Katarina66's avatar
    Katarina66 wrote 4 years, 7 months ago

    well researched, good story line and a subject which should never be forgotten. It could do with tightening up as previously suggested. The first instance I came accross was "and on I will never get back from" this would read better as and one from which I would never return. I will back the book for now, and hope yopu will return the complement.
    Isabella
    with each retreating wave.

  • Retired user
    Sarah King [Retired] wrote 4 years, 7 months ago
    This is great, thought provoking and emotive writing. We immediately sympathise with Daniel and feel his pain. You write very well indeed. In places however, I feel you could improve it with some tightening. I'll use a couple of examples from the beginning so you can find them easily: 'I came to the realization' could be more simply writtten as 'I realized' And ‘The nazis took it upon themselves to carry out the only solution they saw fit for someone ...
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  • Retired user
    lizjrnm [Retired] wrote 4 years, 7 months ago

    I am currently writing a memoir of WWII and I am in awe of your ability to write about that period of time - well researched and beautifully tole story. backed 100%

    Liz
    The Cheech Room
    A Fine Pickle

  • memphisgirl's avatar
    memphisgirl wrote 4 years, 7 months ago

    The maxims here drop like stones, weighty and memorable. You depict hope as a way of looking forever backward into the past, as if human nature believes in what has come before and, therefore, hopes. Your discussions of everything from death, to Hitler, to love and murder are provocative. Death is depicted as the only certainty, a faithful constant in a surreal existence. I wish I could teach parts of this manuscript alongside Wiesel's Night.

    Memphisgirl
    Ashes By Now

  • memphisgirl's avatar
    memphisgirl wrote 4 years, 7 months ago

    The maxims here drop like stones, weighty and memorable. You depict hope as a way of looking forever backward into the past, as if human nature believes in what has come before and, therefore, hopes. Your discussions of everything from death, to Hitler, to love and murder are provocative. Death is depicted as the only certainty, a faithful constant in a surreal existence. I wish I could teach parts of this manuscript alongside Wiesel's Night.

    Memphisgirl
    Ashes By Now

  • PCreturned's avatar
    PCreturned wrote 4 years, 7 months ago

    This really is a harrowing and immediate piece of historical fiction. We feel Daniel's hopelessness and sorrow in the face of such vileness. Reading this is a shock to the system. I wanted to pinch my arm to remind me that, while your characters may be fictional, these things really did happen.

    The writing feels polished and the subject matter well researched. I'm backing this as I think the topic is important. I wish you luck finding publication.

    Pete

  • name falied moderation's avatar
    name falied moderation wrote 4 years, 7 months ago
    Dear Matthew backed you first and now the revision. such good work and well researched for sure...I loved your short and long pitch both really sell your book which they are meant too so CONGRATS, and love the way you write. Your ability with words to craft an orginal read is amazing. the characters have decided to take up permanent residence but i will insist they leave soom to go home. ha! I have to wonder on this site at ...
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  • andrew skaife's avatar
    andrew skaife wrote 4 years, 7 months ago

    Meticulously researched, obviously (unless you were there, which I doubt given ages etc.) and beautifully written. This is a work that shines with the passion that you must have to have built it so well.

    BACKED

  • fh's avatar
    fh wrote 4 years, 7 months ago
    HOPE Dear Matthew, This is a riveting story. Full of beautiful writing straight from the heart. Extremely well written. Moving and passionate. Despite this being a story of truth, you would still have to have spent countless hours in research and I know how much this entails (my first book also was about WW2 in parts and I learnt an enormous amount). Well done you for giving us the chance to read this. I am happy to back this as ...
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  • Mchahn2990's avatar
    Mchahn2990 Author wrote 4 years, 7 months ago

    I can't thank Suzie enough for her kind words, but to avoid confusion this is not a memoir but a historical novel. The events that occur in my book are all factually correct, but the characters are all fictional.

    Thanks to all who take the time to support Hope,

    Matthew

  • SusieGulick's avatar
    SusieGulick wrote 4 years, 7 months ago
    Dear Daniel, I love that you have told your story & the tragedy of it. :) When I told my story in my memoirs, I thought I was bad off (& still am), but you show me that it could be much much worse. :) Thank you for letting the world know about the holocaust from the inside. :) God bless you. :) Since I have tight optic nerves, I tend to go back to the line I had just ...
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