Opening Night by Christopher Penn-Wright

Demons exist. Witches are real. Magick is all around us. But can two teenagers rescue the world from Syndicate - an elite, demonic organisation?

Stop the press: the Chosen One has finally been found!

Will Forsythe might be a lot of things; a teenager, an orphan, a student, a clairvoyant but one thing he certainly is not, is normal.

Will has a destiny; a destiny that lies outside the safe enclosures of Madame Avery’s Boarding School. Syndicate will stop at nothing to find him and cut short that destiny before it’s even had a chance to begin.

Charms have protected Will up to now but as All Hallow’s Eve approaches – the same day as Will’s sixteenth birthday – the charms will dissipate, leaving Syndicate with an opportunity they’ve waited millennia for.

A failed assassination attempt results in a chance encounter with a girl that claims to be Will’s sister but can she really be his sister? And why choose now to reveal her existence? A prophecy unearthed over two-thousand years ago states that a paragon of good will overcome a great evil and Syndicate will stop at nothing to undo the prophecy and kill Will. One thing becomes clear though, there’s more than one Chosen One out there...

  • Classification: Moderate
  • Work is: Extract only on Authonomy
  • First submitted Nov. 16, 2011
  • Last updated Nov. 16, 2011
Opening Night
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  • Retired user
    Wanttobeawriter [Retired] wrote 3 years ago
    OPENING NIGHT This is an interesting story. You have a good main character in Will; he’s likable because he’s a bit of a loner; he’s sympathetic because of the strange dreams. I like the way you’ve sprinkled them through the story rather than showing them all at once; lets your reader know what’s happening but keeps your story moving. I think you’re going to find a young adult audience for this, especially since it takes place at Halloween. I’m starring ...
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  • ELAdams's avatar
    ELAdams wrote 3 years, 1 month ago
    This has an action-packed storyline which will appeal to young readers. The prologue is gripping and exciting, and the dream is intriguing; you create some great imagery which enables the reader to vividly picture the scene. I do think that you do a fair bit of 'telling' the reader what the characters are like rather than showing us, such as when Will describes Madame Avery and when he tells us about his psychic powers. The visions he experiences would have ...
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  • Andrew Hughes's avatar
    Andrew Hughes wrote 3 years, 3 months ago
    Hi Chris, I read the first section and made some notes. I like the voice you’ve created for Will, he’s a very engaging main character. I have to say I’m not a fan of prologues so I’d prefer if the book started at ch 1. The writing in the prologue is fine but since the reader doesn’t know who’s speaking or what the situation is, it’s just difficult to connect with. By contrast, the scene at the start of the ...
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  • ChristineRees's avatar
    ChristineRees wrote 3 years, 5 months ago
    Hey Christopher, I’m here for my part of our read swap. I’d like to start with your prologue. It’s captivating, starting off with “the end” kind of idea. I liked it a lot. The only real problem I’ve found is more of a superficial flaw than any. It was how the grave stones appear in your story… or how the names are written as if they are on gravestones. I only mention this because it would make it look nicer ...
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  • gemmat's avatar
    gemmat wrote 3 years, 5 months ago
    Really love your story so far (on chapter 3). You have great characters and set up the plot well to leave the reader wanting more. There are some moments in your writing which need clearing up. For example at the end of chapter one from 'It all seemed to take place in a split second' till the end is a bit confused. Does he collapse? Why was Sam suddenly giving him mouth to mouth? Does he have another vision? it ...
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  • Julio Guzman's avatar
    Julio Guzman wrote 3 years, 5 months ago
    Wow, this is really great work. I love the way you write, I think you have a very unique and fresh way of explaining things. Your descriptions are vivid and your characters are captivating and believable. There's definitely a great amount of mystery here which makes me want to read on. Unfortunately, I've only read the first chapter cuz I couldn't wait to comment! Despite your "long" chapters (which only seem longer because they're on a computer screen), they still ...
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  • sassychick's avatar
    sassychick wrote 3 years, 5 months ago
    Love your novel. I've only had time to read one chapter but still thats all i need to read to know this is a winner. if i read a book on here and i dont like it i dont bother leaving any feedback, but here i was captivated. ill admit your chapters seem long on the computer but i have been havin the same issue with my story. on the screen they seem to run on and on, but on ...
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  • Simon R. Willis's avatar
    Simon R. Willis wrote 3 years, 6 months ago
    I must admit that the quote at the start of your long pitch put me off a little ( I know, I'm fickle!), but when I dipped into your novel I found it very readable. Before I knew it I'd finished 2 chapters! Having said that, though, I agree with the other reader: the chapters felt very long. Then again, they kept me reading, so they couldn't be that bad, eh? Keep writing in this style, it's very easy on ...
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  • Retired user
    scoz512 [Retired] wrote 3 years, 7 months ago

    Hey, you've been moving up I see. Nice work!

  • jestersjibberish's avatar
    jestersjibberish wrote 3 years, 8 months ago
    Wow, you are a great writer. These are long chapters to read on the computer though. A question: The red haired lady pushed the desk out of her way to grab the demonic woman by the throat. After letting her crumple to the floor she reached for a snow globe on an adjacent shelf, and the water from it spilled out onto the desk,) that had been thrown out of the way?) The red headed lady of extraordinary beauty strode ...
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  • AlastairI's avatar
    AlastairI wrote 3 years, 8 months ago

    Hooked from the first chapter. I really like your writing style and the build up in this story. Fantastic work.

  • earthlover's avatar
    earthlover wrote 3 years, 8 months ago

    I read the first chapter. It's very well written and I didn't find any obvious mistakes.
    You have a gift for writing. Good luck on authonomy and with your book! Highly starred!
    Georgia
    http://www.authonomy.com/books/38389/the-woman-from-e-a-r-l-/

  • Lisa Lawton's avatar
    Lisa Lawton wrote 3 years, 8 months ago
    Hi, Chris, like I said I would, I gave "Open Night" a read. I liked the story and I liked your characters, their dialogue felt smooth, not forced or stunted, like some books I've read here. What halted me a little was your prologue, the reason being adverbs, like 'blindly' I know its the only one you used in your prologue, but it doesn't need to be there. Plus, how many times you used 'had'. At first I was going ...
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  • Retired user
    scoz512 [Retired] wrote 3 years, 8 months ago

    Your short synopsis: Awesome. Got me reading right away! I'd probably shorten that lengthier long pitch, though.
    Loved Will's voice, it definitely reads like a teenager without sounding too...well...dumb. Loved the gum and detention bit. Nice visuals, great prologue. Overall-I was drawn in.

    I'm putting it on my watchlist and I'll venture past the second chapter soon. Until then-you could always check out "War of the Wastelands" if you feel like it. No pressure, just would appreciate any comments.

    Sara