Slinker: Evasion by Dave Crews

For a man to have a future, the boy must outrun his past.

But what when the past catches up with him?

Slinker remembered nothing of his past life when he escaped. Only the surreal visions of his dreams had told him he was anything else. He had escaped, and has spent the last seven years turning his back on what happened to him, and trying to find his family. But then something else happens, completely out of the blue...

A figure from that long-buried past resurfaces, and she needs his help. Others from the depths of his memory are returning, the men who tried to keep both him and her locked away. Running together, they both become targets, either for death or worse - recapture, and returning into the hands of the cold scientists. They have to rely on each other to stop their fates from taking a turn for the worse.

Can he survive in the present long enough to escape once more?

Or will his past catch up with him?


BOOK 1 of the Chameleon Chronicles: Complete first draft at ~33.5k words.

  • Classification: Moderate
  • Work is: Fully available on Authonomy
  • First submitted Feb. 7, 2012
  • Last updated Feb. 7, 2012
Slinker: Evasion
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  • Sara Stinson's avatar
    Sara Stinson wrote 2 years, 9 months ago

    YARG III

    Slinker: Evasion
    Dave Crews

    I have nothing bad to say! You have a delightful read! The character is strong and your writing flows and is easy to read. I give you high stars!
    Sara Stinson
    Finger Bones

  • MauriceR's avatar
    MauriceR wrote 2 years, 11 months ago
    Club Nanobots Critique Hi Dave This worked just fine for me. The escape scene was a good way to get things started and let the reader know what the story is about without resorting to info dumps. If you are looking for improvement suggestions, one reaction I had to the chapter was that it didn’t give me a particularly clear image of his personality. What emotions he did show, such as fear, were no more than you might expect given ...
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  • Abby Vandiver's avatar
    Abby Vandiver wrote 2 years, 11 months ago
    Club Nanobots Critique The invisible idea is an old story but like a vampire or werewoldf tale, a fresh new point of view can make it exciting. It seemed that the 10 year old was quite mature and knowing for his age after being caged up for a while. Don't exactly know how long after one chapter. And he seems to be quite the reader without too much schooling I would think. An ellipsis is three dots and three spaces, ...
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  • kokako's avatar
    kokako wrote 2 years, 11 months ago
    Club Nanobots Hi Dave, Here’s my Nanobots review for ‘Slinker: Evasion’. I’m less good on the general comment sort of stuff, so I’ve gone through and tried to give some more specific suggestions. I’m not an expert, though, so take what works for you and feel free to toss the rest. Ch 1 1) Good start. That first sentence says a lot in just two words. 2) ‘not the disturbing half-fantasies, half-illusions, all nightmares he had when he was drugged’ ...
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  • Ryan_Gomes's avatar
    Ryan_Gomes wrote 2 years, 12 months ago
    Club Nanobots Critique I was so hooked, I was upset when the first chapter ended! You really have a way of hooking the reader in and keeping them interested. So many questions beg to be answered. Who is Slinker? Why have these men experimented on him? How will he escape? All these questions beg answers and really make the reader go on. Your flow was great, I only stumbled once or twice. In particular, "This was it. This was what ...
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  • Elizabeth H's avatar
    Elizabeth H wrote 2 years, 12 months ago
    Club Nanobot Review Why make and invisible man? There has to be a compelling reason and they have started with a child. Children don't drop off the face of the planet without an enormous fuss been raised by their families, so where are Slinker's? Is he a foster child, a runnaway? I guess this is for the next chapter and it does make a great hook. I was wondering what happened to the clothes when he vanishes. I see he ...
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  • malky76's avatar
    malky76 wrote 2 years, 12 months ago
    Wow, 17 years old! That's pretty amazing. I must admit, I read the first chapter before reading your bio. You'll be published by the time you're 30. Some great advice here on punctuation, tenses and grammar. Some of it may come across as severe criticism - it's not. It is simply other writers recognising great potential and giving you important snippets of advice. I'm a 36 year old journalist and I still get advice! Listen to it and you will ...
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  • malky76's avatar
    malky76 wrote 2 years, 12 months ago
    Club Nanobots Critique The first thing to say here is that you can really write scenes with electric pace. The tension as Slinker tries to regain his invisibility is palpable. I would have liked a little more mystery, given that this is the first chapter. You could be really clever here and not tell the reader that Slinker is invisible. It would make for a wickedly baffling opening sequence - in a good way. i also thought the guys carrying ...
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  • malky76's avatar
    malky76 wrote 2 years, 12 months ago
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  • scottkenny's avatar
    scottkenny wrote 2 years, 12 months ago
    Hi Dave, nanobot revue for Slinker: Evasion. The pace is excellent with the story flying along at just the right speed for a first chapter. You have a good command of language. I'm pleased to see that you don't allow the story to be sidetracked with unnecessary detail, so that chapter one reads like a straight line from start to finish. I like the concept, a modern version of The Invisible Man, with viruses and surgery replacing the potion. The ...
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  • Retired user
    KaliedaRik [Retired] wrote 2 years, 12 months ago
    Hi, Dave! Please find below my "Club Nanobot" crit on your book. The comments that follow are my reactions to reading your first chapter - please remember that my views are but one among many: only use the stuff that you find useful and feel free to bin the rest. Chapter 1 is a good read. We meet Slinker and watch him attempt an escape from a secure unit. During the escape we discover that he can make himself invisible. ...
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  • Retired user
    grouserock [Retired] wrote 3 years ago
    Club Nanobot Critique: Your long pitch is excellent and you do have a knack for getting a rollicking pace in motion. Intriguing premise too. There were one or two places where I seemed to feel confused about tenses and had to re-read a sentence. For example "until one phrase bounces (should be bounced?) back at him." and, "It hurt his stomach as it descended but the pain helps (should it be helped?) to focus his mind. The other two things ...
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  • Retired user
    Paul Richards [Retired] wrote 3 years ago
    Nanobot Review - It is my opinion that a good sci-fi story needs a world where things happen we might want but never would realize. It takes good imagination and that is what I read in your book. From the very beginning I am looking for the next thing. I have read only the first chapter as per the Club Nanobot guidelines but I hope to read more. I have the sense that Slinker is more than just human - ...
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  • Ted Cross's avatar
    Ted Cross wrote 3 years ago
    Club Nanobot Critique -- I envy you doing this well at only 17. I didn't get my start until my late thirties, so you are way ahead of me! A first chapter that makes me feel like the story may be a new take on the invisible man theme. The writing is not bad and reads smoothly with just a few nits to pick here and there. It has a YA feel to it, at least from reading just this ...
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  • Retired user
    Wow! Only 17, and numerous books to your name. Sounds like me at that age! haha! So very well done, Dave. I would strongly recommend you read Fight Club by Chuck Palahniuk. Its been made into a film featuring Brad Pitt, Edward Norton, and Helena Bonham-Carter. The reason I mention it is because the novel, aside from being short and very readable, is told ENTIRELY is the first-person. I feel you could benefit from seeing what he includes, and what's ...
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  • brerandall's avatar
    brerandall wrote 3 years ago

    Club Nanobot:
    How have I not read this before now?!? So excited to find this treasure! First chapter is excellent, does everything it's supposed to and more! Super excited to read on. Perfect amount of action and intrigue, the flow and pace is great, and your MS is spotless. Great work. Love love loved it. Six stars. (:

    Bre
    Memoria

  • Retired user
    Earl Carlson [Retired] wrote 3 years ago
    Club Nanobot Critique: I noticed a few grammatical errors: "He looked closer . . ." should be "He looked more closely . . ." which would of course be edited out. And I don't understand how he could maneuver that scalpel from the foot of his bed up to his hands, or how he was able to retie his bonds after he had cut them. He would have to retie at least one of them with one hand. There was ...
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  • Retired user
    Roy Batty [Retired] wrote 3 years ago
    Club Nanobot Critique - Hi first the bad then the good. First four paragraphs are clunky - these are your first four - make them bite. So, Slinker hits a guy goes invisible and guards come and leisurely take away their fallen comrade. No alarm bells? No rushing around trying to find him? I know Slinker finding papers on his past would be more than interested in finding out what they contained but with the scientist in the room and ...
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  • Racheal McGillivary's avatar
    Racheal McGillivary wrote 3 years ago
    {YARG review} {YAL review}{Nanobots} Dave, You start out great in the first chapter. You throw he reader directly into the suspense of the story. The second paragraph could use a touch of revising. There were too many remember/ remembering. I would eliminate the second time you say, "Ever since he started remembering". Seeing as you already stated it, you could jump right in to "a month ago". This way it flows a tad smoother. It's very sad what has been ...
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  • John Lovell's avatar
    John Lovell wrote 3 years ago
    Hey fella, Read chapter minus five just now. Well done! I'm having to focus my eyes from looking at anyone else's comments right now just in case it ruins any of it for me. You gave a good feel of what was happening and the emotions of Slinker too. There was some tension, both with the story and the way you write. Already I'm left wondering what's up with this guy. I'll be back for more and will let you ...
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