The Time Capsule by Leigh Green

Lee Abernathy is a man who has struggled through adulthood, mostly by his own faults. However, a death leads to reconnecting with the past.

Lee Abernathy is arguably a very awkward, unfortunate man. He graduated from Purdue and soon found a job with the state of Indiana as an accountant, married his high school sweetheart, and had two kids. That was a couple of decades ago. His wife had an affair, his kids barely know him, and the digital age brought around the end of his career. Prematurely retired in Boulder, Colorado, Lee has been seeing a therapist for the number of phobias he has developed.

It's only at his therapist's insistence that he decides to go when he's requested to attend the funeral for his high school friend, Jack Jackson. The funeral is being held in their hometown of Tipton, Indiana and not the beaches of California where Jack had lived out his vice-filled days. The reasoning behind the location soon becomes clear when Jack's young widow explains that Jack had set aside a fund and plans for Lee to find their old crew and dig up the time capsule they had all buried upon their graduation day.

For some it's a mild inconvenience. For others, it's a reminder of what they should have become...

  • Classification: Moderate
  • Work is: Extract only on Authonomy
  • First submitted March 4, 2012
  • Last updated March 4, 2012
The Time Capsule
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  • Alidownb's avatar
    Alidownb wrote 3 years, 1 month ago
    Hi, I read chapters 6 and 7. I think this is pretty well written, aside for a couple things, like in chapter 6 you said "i had..." in place of I'd, but I think you meant I would. It's things like that. I also thought you focused a lot on painting the hats and I found that I skimmed through a lot of it because it got a little boring, sorry. Chapter 7 moved along a little faster and I ...
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  • HeroicLeigh's avatar
    HeroicLeigh Author wrote 3 years, 1 month ago
    Thank you for the comments, Warrick and Fran. I'm not ignoring you, I promise! Been very busy as of late. I've only begun combing over everything. I thought I had split up the pitch into other paragraphs; I guess it didn't parse them completely. I'll have to look into why the font came up odd, as it wasn't anything different in the .doc files I uploaded. Thanks for pointing it out! I'm adding the other things you've pointed out into ...
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  • Warrick Mayes's avatar
    Warrick Mayes wrote 3 years, 1 month ago
    Leigh, Ditto the comments from Fran about the font, and from Kathy about the wordy sentences. The pitch and the concept are interesting, so this is worth pursuing. I have a few examples for you to review: You have a repetitive sentence that could be reduced to help teh flow: "...wondering if he should have remained. If he had just remained, things might have stayed the same." could be cut to "...wondering if he should have remained, perhaps then things ...
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  • Retired user
    FRAN MACILVEY [Retired] wrote 3 years, 1 month ago
    Dear Leigh I have had a look at the first and part of the second chapter of your book "The Time Capsule" this morning, and I have a few thoughts. First of all, you have a good clean MS and a clear style, though that is hampered on here by the lightness of the font you have uploaded here. Perhaps there is a way for you to reformat so that it is darker, and therefore easier to read. You could ...
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  • HeroicLeigh's avatar
    HeroicLeigh Author wrote 3 years, 1 month ago

    [QUOTE] Interesting concept. My only problem getting into the story is that your sentences tend to be a little wordy, rolling numerous visual images into one sentence. That slows the reader down. [ENDQUOTE]

    I can see that; I do tend to try to put a lot of visuals in. Thank you! :)

  • Retired user
    KathyJohn [Retired] wrote 3 years, 1 month ago

    Interesting concept. My only problem getting into the story is that your sentences tend to be a little wordy, rolling numerous visual images into one sentence. That slows the reader down.