A Long Fall Into Darkness by K.C. Hardy

D.I. Cummings (retired) has Alzheimer's but is determined to finish his last unsolved case, if only he could remember where his keys were...

Bob's last case before retirement ended in failure. He knew exactly who was responsible for the disappearances of dozens of teenage girls but his evidence was destroyed by his incompetent son-in-law.

Twelve years later Bob is coming to terms with his wife's death and being diagnosed with Alzheimer's. When girls begin disappearing again he seizes the opportunity to finish what he began so long ago. But how do you uncover a serial killer when you can't remember what you had for breakfast and can't find your way back home?

When one of his own family go missing the investigation becomes a race to discover the truth before she becomes another victim.

  • Classification: Moderate
  • Work is: Incomplete; Extract only on Authonomy
  • First submitted March 16, 2012
  • Last updated March 16, 2012
A Long Fall Into Darkness
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  • rikasworld's avatar
    rikasworld wrote 2 years, 2 months ago
    Hi, I've read all your uploaded chapters and it's impressive writing. It seems effortless and is very polished. I was also impressed that Bob could work the satnav he bought to help him remember the way home. It's more than I can do! Seriously, his stroppy personality and the various aspects of his dementia are convincing and his relationship with Charlotte is quite touching. (I assume she is going to be in need of rescue). Nathan is quite horrific and ...
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  • Retired user
    Spilota [Retired] wrote 2 years, 3 months ago
    This is decidedly creepy. I saw it mentioned on the forum and came to have a look. I like the way you are telling it by going back and forward in time, with Bob and his troubles, then back to the twins and the developing of Toby's...um...mania, I suppose. A few minor typos where you have you're rather than your, etc, but this has grabbed my imagination. Hope you will post more soon. Yes, might be better bringing the info ...
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  • Kev Hardy's avatar
    Kev Hardy Author wrote 2 years, 4 months ago
    After taking a long break I'm back in the saddle and currently working on a second draft incorporating all the really wonderful feedback I've had. The major difference is that I have removed the prologue which a few people had problems with - which i agree with. By withholding this info at the start it adds to the suspense when the boys first discover the tunnels. Some of the detail from the prologue will now be imparted by the housekeeper ...
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  • Seringapatam's avatar
    Seringapatam wrote 2 years, 4 months ago
    Kev, You had me hooked in from the word go about the chalk.... Its a very interesting book considering its a million miles away from what I would normally read. I can see this doing very well. You have a good flow to the narrative voice and an ability to catch the reader in the early stages of the book. There is a good pace that I think helps the book to make it so much easier on the eyes. ...
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  • Terry Murphy's avatar
    Terry Murphy wrote 2 years, 5 months ago
    Hi Kev, After reading three chapters my overriding thought was, 'wow, where can I buy this?' It really is that good. The writing is elegant, yet effortless and has that warm, wry voice just below the surface. And there is no doubting the intrigue set up by the unfolding storyline. The opening structure is very clever and does its job brilliantly. I'm not sure about the 'prologue' to be honest, that is my only significant crit. It is well written ...
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  • Mark Cain's avatar
    Mark Cain wrote 2 years, 5 months ago
    Wonderful, professional-quality writing here. Great descriptions, particularly at the beginning. There is also excellent, very believable characterization, the subtle touches of early-onset Alzheimer's, the melancholy of a mournful spouse, well two actually, but I was thinking of the MC, who loved his wife, though he had effectively lost her love years ago. There are the twins, Lottie, just lots of wonderful characters. I have a mystery writer friend or two on this site whom I think would love this. I ...
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  • Retired user
    Nanty wrote 2 years, 10 months ago
    A Long Fall into Darkness. 'what are (you) doing? - Typo in brackets. '...geting a life sentence and ten years in jail.' - The difference, which isn't stated, is the killer would go free? '...Porchester Crematorium...an air of morbid functionality about it.' - Thought this was rather odd - a crematorium's function is no more than an oven to dispose of a corpse, which is is morbid when you think about it, and I've yet to see anyone sing and ...
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  • JMF's avatar
    JMF wrote 2 years, 10 months ago

    I saw this on someone else's shelf and thought I'd take a look. This is very good indeed and I have only read the first three chapters. I'm going to place on my WL and it will be one of the books I circulate onto my shelf in due course. An excellent read, great idea for a story.
    Highly starred.
    Julia
    Shadow Jumper

  • Tod Schneider's avatar
    Tod Schneider wrote 2 years, 10 months ago

    This is absolutely brilliant writing! It's always a nice surprise to find real gems on this site, and this one qualifies. Your writing is truly masterful; everything flows so smoothly, with dialog and description balanced and carefully crafted. Nothing to pick on here at all. Best of luck with this!
    Tod

    http://authonomy.com/books/40646/the-lost-wink/

  • elmo2's avatar
    elmo2 wrote 3 years ago

    read the frist four entries and then skimmed some ahead, i like this, smooth writing, apt descriptions, metaphors, and similies, inventive, i think a reader would be intrigued by the notion of an alzhiemer victim trying to solve a crime, the tille fits both plot lines, bob's and the twins, like the pologue, this story has a historical background, very english isn't it, i wanted to read more and that is always the best sign, entertained

  • ceejezoid's avatar
    ceejezoid wrote 3 years, 1 month ago
    Hey Kev, returning the read! A few notes, as I wrote them: Prologue - Not quite sure about this, its like reading a history book. I'm sure it will become important later on, so I shall reserve judgement on whether this sort of information could be given in story. Great descriptions of the two boys and excellent use of action to demonstrate their different personalities. Sudden POV shift to the housekeeper that confused me. I'm not sure why you have ...
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  • fledglingowl's avatar
    fledglingowl wrote 3 years, 1 month ago
    K.C. Love the scary title and the scarier cover for your book. Both the short and long pitches were real hooks for me. A detective who's losing his mind and his direction - have to read to see if you can pull it off. Very smooth. I found no errors in the first two chapters I've read - and believe me I looked. Grammar/style wonderful. The plot is still not clear to me, but the little boys are so realistic, ...
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  • rikasworld's avatar
    rikasworld wrote 3 years, 2 months ago
    This is beautifully written, I think. For me it only really gets going once you get to Bob, I assume the part with Nathan and Toby is going to be part of a case and it's fine but Bob's entry really raises the game. You suggest the beginning of dementia very subtly. I liked his granddaughter's description of him as a dinosaur baking in the desert. The whole funeral really rang a bell with me. I've had a lot of ...
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  • armonia's avatar
    armonia wrote 3 years, 2 months ago

    I love the relationship between Nathan and Toby. Very real, very brother. Finished Chapter two and If I had time I would read on. I will tomorrow for sure!

    As far as word error I am no help, grammar is my enemy. :)

    Anyway just wanted to let you know I was taking a look. More on this later.

    Christine.