1st DRAFT post HC review of The Existence Game by Judy Adams

After HC review, taking their suggestions and those of many Authonomites, this is the first new attempt. Any suggestions sincerely appreciated!!

HC and several Authonomy friends have suggested that The Existence Game has far too much narrative/exposition and too little dialogue and action. I'm working on rewriting, and am concerned that without MC Alex's back story being presented in the first couple of chapters, (which it's done with narrative and exposition) she won't be a particularly engaging character because readers won't really understand much about her quirkiness or dysfunctional behavior. I'm working hard to try to create an interesting, compelling character in Alex and would be very grateful for any ideas anyone has. This is the first draft rewrite of The Existence Game, posted as a separate story. Thanks very much!!

  • Classification: Moderate
  • Work is: Extract only on Authonomy
  • First submitted March 30, 2014
  • Last updated March 30, 2014
1st DRAFT post HC review of The Existence Game
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  • Maevesleibhin's avatar
    Maevesleibhin wrote 1 year, 4 months ago
    Well, I have not done a compare and contrast, but it's very good and very reminiscent of my memory of the original. It is just as compellling and easy to read. Two wee notes: as I mentioned, I think Paul saying he misses the beach in San Francisco is odd. Also, there is a typo in the suicide note. Generally, I think it hooks well. Her irrational terrors are the real hook for me, and I would take even more ...
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  • evwalker's avatar
    evwalker wrote 1 year, 5 months ago
    Okay, here goes--my two cents, though, as we know, two cents isn't worth much of anything these days :) I like your opening a lot better--it feels a lot more like a novel and less like a memoir. Though I did miss the part where she says she likes the name Alexis but it makes her feel like she's in trouble--wait, read further down and found something similar with Alex's conversation with her mom. Showing the scene where Nick comes ...
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