The Granny Mafia by Gayle Williamson

Grannies. An institution in their own right; the foundation of our families.
Or are they?
Then you haven't met Granny Belle and the Granny Mafia.

Jack Platt loves his Granny very much. She's the best cook, the best listener and the best pocket money giver, but most importantly she always makes Jack feel very special. Yes, his Granny is the BEST Granny in the whole wide world.
But behind the white permed hair and gold spectacles belies a secret so dark it will rock the very core of every grandchild and Grannies will never be seen in the same light. Ever again!

Abandoned at the age of five by his mother, Jack lives with his dad Charlie and staunch Catholic Granny Belle in the east end of London.
Eight years later, life's been pretty normal for the teenager, forever watching the comings and goings of his Grandmother's colourful friends and the odd stranger, whose problems are always miraculously resolved. But why is that?

Then one evening curiosity gets too much as he over hears Granny Belle utter, " -make it quick...and clean!"
But are these fateful words connected to the recent spate of murders or merely a coincidence?

Together with his best friend Phoebe they find out if or how the murders are linked to the Granny Mafia. And so the adventure begins...

  • Classification: Universal
  • Work is: Fully available on Authonomy
  • First submitted Feb. 17, 2009
  • Last updated Feb. 17, 2009
The Granny Mafia
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  • Retired user
    Women What Write wrote 5 years, 5 months ago

    a good start but reads like a draft, could be so much better, and funnier.

  • Elaina's avatar
    Elaina wrote 6 years, 3 months ago

    Very funny and well written. The action is a bit breathless, but overall worth placing on my shelf!

    All the best
    Gathering of Rain

  • KinDallas's avatar
    KinDallas wrote 6 years, 3 months ago

    My goodness, I have laughed this hard in a while. When the granny said "I'm the cleaner" I had flashbacks to "Pulp Fiction" with The Wolf.

    There are some typos and the action does get a touch too frenetic. Do a thorough reread (and consult your grammar bible!) and this will be darn near perfection. Thank you for the delightful read. You're going on my bookshelf.

  • Bren Verrill's avatar
    Bren Verrill wrote 6 years, 3 months ago
    Oh, well done. Shades of Catherine Tate and those grannies in Monty Python. You've caught me here on a subject I feel quite strongly about: the wisdom of the old. Yes, I'm not yet fifty, but I can't help feeling there's something we've lost in the West by idolising the young. Maybe this book will redress the balance. The dialogue works very well,. although there are one or two typos you might want to take care of: Both at the ...
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  • pialia's avatar
    pialia wrote 6 years, 3 months ago


    This is quite funny overall. I think my favorite part was the announcement that Rex was no more, which conjured up the image of the old lady running him down. Jack's incredulous discovery of Granny's money stash and just avoiding being discovered has me firmly hooked to read on. The story does need a thorough proofread for misspelled/misused words, but you're off to a really great start.


  • Pat Brehony's avatar
    Pat Brehony wrote 6 years, 4 months ago

    Hi Gayle,
    I will track your progress with interest.
    Good luck.

  • berni stevens's avatar
    berni stevens wrote 6 years, 4 months ago
    I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get here to read your book, but it was my loss. This is great. I just love the grannies. I kept thinking of the Ladykillers and Kind Hearts and Coronets . . . dotty old ladies who actually aren't so dotty! Very funny. The thought of my granny meeting me from school . . . *shudders* . . . very frightening. So much worse for an adolescent boy too! Just one thing ...
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  • Pat Brehony's avatar
    Pat Brehony wrote 6 years, 4 months ago

    Hi Gayle,
    I have now read the entire script. It holds the attention very well and has a great finish. We all must have similar grans (or would like to)! Good pace and excellent action and dialogue.
    Check spelling of Turret's syndrome in chapter 9. I think the correct version is Tourette's. I also found a stray apostrophe on a plural...I could not find it again when I searched!
    Good luck as you head for publication.

  • Pat Brehony's avatar
    Pat Brehony wrote 6 years, 4 months ago

    Hi Gayle,
    I love the delicious possibilities you have stitched into your book. Why did I not discover it before?
    Looking forward to reading further.
    Good luck. Pat.

  • PATRICK BARRETT's avatar
    PATRICK BARRETT wrote 6 years, 4 months ago

    Many well observed moments in this tale. Smooth and well written. On my shelf. Patrick Barrett (Shakespeares Cuthbert)

  • talespinner's avatar
    talespinner wrote 6 years, 4 months ago
    Hi Gayle I love the idea of the Granny Mafia. The title creates such a great image straight away. I agree with the comments about fleshing it out. Maybe take a bit more time over the set up. Also there was sometimes a bit of obvious telling e.g. the bishop - if he was so famous wouldn't he know who he was because she would have been going on about him? The odd sensation in his pocket - his mobile, ...
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  • RachelMay's avatar
    RachelMay wrote 6 years, 4 months ago

    Great fun! I love this. There have only been a few young adult books that have just been an absolute pleasure to read. This was one of them. I feel that what would make this better, would be if you expanded it a bit more and turned it into a novel rather than a novella. The characters are interesting enough as well as the story. Proudly placing this on my shelf.

    Wishing you the best.
    Rachel May

  • bluestocking's avatar
    bluestocking wrote 6 years, 4 months ago
    Oo! Very freaky and fun. I enjoyed this hugely, esp. since my own maternal grandmother was an utterly terrifying specimen. I zoomed through Ch. 4, and then skipped ahead and read 10 and 11. The writing is quick and sharp throughout, with no mushy or boring bits. The characters are distinctly, deftly drawn. The humor is wonderful and Granny Belle is so pleasantly, powderedly creepy, in kind of an 'Arsenic and Old Lace' kind of way. I think the story ...
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  • Charity Shindle's avatar
    Charity Shindle wrote 6 years, 4 months ago

    Entertaining, fast, and hilarious. You are fantastic at drawing in the reader with your characters. On my shelf.
    See you in print,

  • Retired user
    AnnabelleP [Retired] wrote 6 years, 5 months ago
    Hi Gayle, I thought I had read this and commented - so I think I must've read your pitch and the first chapters and then not commented, bizarre! Anyway, it's been shelved ;-) This is a great idea, I love your pitch and your cover. More importantly, this is well written with wonderful characters. There's a sense of mystery about the story, an exciting expectation of what is to come. I think it will appeal to your target audience, without ...
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  • mskea's avatar
    mskea wrote 6 years, 5 months ago
    Hi Gayle, Lots to appeal to me here - the boy who has had a rough ride with his mum, the gran who is more than just a gran, the Rotters (if this was adult I'd say the name was a bit ott, but as its YA...)The laxative for Lee and his brother - just the right humour for the age group - who of us hasn't dreamt of giving someone Exlax. And removing the loo rolls - brilliant touch. ...
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  • Heidi Mannan's avatar
    Heidi Mannan wrote 6 years, 5 months ago

    Hi Gayle,

    This is one of the best ideas I've come across on this site. I love the humor and pacing. I'd definitely buy a copy of this! Hopefully some day I'll have the chance. It's going onto my shelf right now. Best of luck!

    If you get a chance to look at Turning Red, I'd be grateful. :)

  • Jack Ramsay's avatar
    Jack Ramsay wrote 6 years, 5 months ago

    Oh! And I meant to say - what a cracking cover :-)

  • Jack Ramsay's avatar
    Jack Ramsay wrote 6 years, 5 months ago
    HI Gayle, This is a delight! Out of the ordinary, for sure, and well written. I read the first three chapters and made some notes as I went, so here are my thoughts and observations. Good work on creating the cuddly granny, and giving just a hint of foreshadowing of what she's capable of (via her dialogue regarding the woman who dumped Jack) and why. Good use of subtlety. Same again later in the chapter - 'Bloody men... he'll get ...
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  • Stephen G Thompson's avatar
    Stephen G Thompson wrote 6 years, 5 months ago

    This is a wonderful breath of fresh air Gayle!

    As one who has a 'staunch Catholic' Granny, I really recognised Granny Belle's colourfyl character. This is a nicely paced, well written and pleasant read Gayle and I fear I can make no suggestions for improvements (sorry!)


    God Bless -